Something Dark This Way Comes
life·@meesterboom·
0.000 HBDSomething Dark This Way Comes
 From downstairs came the sound of screaming and running feet ending in an almighty crash. *Waaaaaaahhhh!!* The Little Boom's wail echoed through the whole house followed by great racking sobs and yells. A door opened. *Daddy-Bear!! What the hell are you doing up there, it's bedlam down here!?!* What was I doing? I thought it rather obvious when I had told her some time ago that I was going for my morning shit what I was doing. Reluctantly, I put my phone down. *There's something coming out my arse!!!* I yelled back at the good lady. *What!?* A touch of concern coloured her voice. *Something horrible, oh God, it's a MONSTER!?* I moaned theatrically, as if I were an old man who had been served an over-cooked poached egg. *Oh, very funny. Well, hurry up, you're needed.* I could hear the sigh in her voice. As I was now quite rested, I finished my *business* and tootled downstairs. I was feeling quite full of myself and chuckly at my own hilarity. *Can't a man have five minutes peace to do his morning shit!!* I bellowed as I thumped open the door to the lounge and marched through it.. *Oh.* My bravado laden shit-boasting tailed off into nothing as I saw that we had a guest sitting on the couch, sipping coffee. The Good Lady's doula friend, *Olette.* *Olette* looked at the clock which showed it was just after 12 and smiled merrily at me. *I think it's more of an afternoon shit?* She said with a knowing smile. Inwardly, I was curling up like a slug in a bag of salt at the embarrassment. My mind raced, what the hell should I say to that!? Fortunately, my inner boom took the wheel in the absence of any brain action. *Oh but my dear Olette, a morning shit is a morning shit whether it be morning, noon or night!* She grimaced, her shit-o-meter obviously maxed out. I winked and left her chewing on her own feet to go help the good lady.
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