"Mom, I won't go to school."
"Why?"
"I couldn’t complete my homework, that's why."
"Lemme help you with whatever is left."

One of the fears from my childhood.  There are plenty of others too. Once while playing, we broke a window from a new house which was being built just beside our playground. I was so afraid that I ran straight to my home, locked my room, and went below my bed. I was there for nearly half an hour just to be sure that no one was chasing or coming up with complaints.  We haven’t gone to that playground for nearly a week but later we found out that the owner was a gentleman,  he wasn’t offended at all and just told us to be careful while playing.

Days went by and we kept growing,  so our fears started to grow. Well, there are many things that we used to fear earlier and later lost it.  Due to an accident, I was afraid of dogs, always maintaining a distance,  now that fear is gone but still, I am not that comfortable being around them. 

When I was a Teenager, things started to get more complicated. At this age we learn to be fearless, everyone gets a carefree attitude,  something dominating,  not everyone but most of us cherish that feeling.  Even after all that fearless attitude, there is always something that dominates us, something that we fear losing or facing. Maybe a favorite person,  maybe a dream, or something from the past, or something that you are expecting may bring you down. I had many too, but lost those with time or learned to adjust.

So what's up now? Now that I have crossed all those childish and teenage years and come to the most crucial years of one's life, what are my fears now?  Do I have any or not?  Obviously, I do have a few of them, which are always with me, knocking me every today or tomorrow,  reminding me of what I am doing and how it may affect me. 

Now that I am an adult and have started to see life in a different way, I have figured out the importance and need of family at its peak. Nothing sustains apart from that bond unless you are very lucky. Whatever that part of me has never betrayed or let me down so far nor will they. So it's also my duty to be beside them always, not to do anything that might embarrass them, any failures of mine shouldn’t affect them. Not just by me, I don't want any kinda trouble above my family,  already faced a few in 2k22, but not anymore.  

Yesterday someone was telling me to take care of myself,  and was instructing me on what to do and what not just because my actions are sometimes frightening for possible risks to me. Then I thought about that and found out whatever was mentioned during that conversation,  none of them was solely in my hand, a fair share of that was on my luck, yeah I can minimize the possibility but risks are there which are not in my hand solely so nothing much to get unnecessary fear. 

So yeah, from tiny things to bigger ones, reasons to fear keep changing with the situation and time. Maybe the fear I am feeling today won't bother me in the coming days. That's how it works. 


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