![IMG_20230329_074633.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmYovdWrATsTYACNCXB3nzPEF3Lxeo7GP6nqV9t6k8nagW/IMG_20230329_074633.jpg)

I feel lonely but I don't feel sad. I want to be with someone but I don't want a conversation. I want to call someone but I'm afraid I can stay for longer. My soul gets weaker and weaker when I spend time with people. Just like I'm too eager to be in a certain place but my mind tells me to go home instead. Sometimes, I don't know anymore, is it what I really want or not. 

![IMG_20230329_074534.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmW94D33Trpr1umNtv2mFKVFVh5hNFuivgicsceJXA2sSE/IMG_20230329_074534.jpg)

I find peace just by watching the rain slowly falling. I feel pleased hearing the sound of the rain falls. The world seems quiet and taking a rest. I can't hear anything except the sound of heavy rain. I love this. No noise from the people. No noises from technology. If not the rain, it's the gust of wind blowing. 

I stare at a single tree where the rain falls. I don't do anything but continue staring for a longer time. All of sudden, a different thought came into me. It's about life and it's about what's going on. I hate to think this way, it's not just makes me sad but makes me afraid. A lot of "what if's" that remain unanswered. I wonder why we hurt ourselves by thinking things we don't want to. Are we just stupid or looking for answers just to escape reality? 


![IMG_20230329_074554.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmWEvHjwoMh7N9MXXVGtZDJ9mToc7XwTFQP3mc9dkxmgdK/IMG_20230329_074554.jpg)


I think I'm lost. I forgot that I was just watching the rain fall but then my imagination changed. I'm imagining good things should happen in my life. I don't care if it's not tomorrow or the day after. I just want it to happen later when everything is right. 

It is one of the reasons why I write fiction stories as well. I can dictate what kind of life is going to happen. For a short time I feel like it's real. If we think about it, we can close our eyes and then make it real. Who cares about reality or not as long as it's you who will think it's real. Also, I write the things I wanted to happen which are impossible. That's what makes writing fun because of it. 

![IMG_20230329_074645.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmSnA9Yxo5kwGZ4gt8jbV8iPZg6XH8dbVrj2WdoJ61k6Az/IMG_20230329_074645.jpg)

The rain is starting to stop as the raindrops slowly fall. Maybe it's time to stop dreaming or maybe stop imagining. Face the reality which is what's best if I don't want dreams to remain just a dream. I need to keep moving and doing if there is something I want to happen in my life right now. Yes, it's true that sometimes it feels like it didn't go according to plans; It didn't happen as we expected but that's what makes life challenging and beautiful. You don't know what's going to happen so you'll feel happier from the surprises that will happen. 

Even so, it was worth stopping what should be done. It's better to take a pause to help us realize what to do instead. Maybe the rain is not that bad either because it gives us time freely. Like a plant, enjoying the rain falls by doing nothing. 

Thank you for reading 

*All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.* 
# ABOUT ME

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<sub>[Paul](https://peakd.com/@mrnightmare89) is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, you can tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine. Together, let's explore the world by broadening our thoughts. If you need a shoulder I can lean you mine and I hope I can lean yours. The world is fun when living is not being alone but with someone. 
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You can find me here: 

[Medium](https://mrnightmare89.medium.com/subscribe)
discord - mrnightmare89#2161
[twitter](https://twitter.com/mrnightmare89?t=DRbjbRsvKB47UOS3Ijasdg&s=09)
[instagram](mr.nightmare89)

[youtube](https://youtube.com/@countryboy5155)