In life we come across many situations which teach us some very valuable lessons and sometimes very tough lessons as well, which we may be aware of but we live in denial. 

The one very hard lesson that I have learnt in my life is that, People will be nice to you only till they need you or you are of any use to them. I always like to be helpful to people in whatever capacity I can, and for the same reason many times I have been cheated, whether it is relationships or it is related to money. My one very big weakness in life is I do not like to say NO, even if it puts me in a uncomfortable situation and on top of that I become very emotional when things go wrong and after that I become heavily critical of my self.

Trust is a very big thing with people and when someone breaks our trust, it is very difficult to heal the wounds. In the past many times when people have reached out to me for any kind of monetary help specially when they mention it is for medical needs then I do not shy off and always try to help in my best capacity, and later on I see that they never return back the money and just not that they completely disappear as if they never existed in my space. I have lost a lot of money in that way, but then I just pacify myself that I gave them for medical needs so I should forget it and not hold any grudge. After that I decided not to lend money to any one for whatever reason, and if I want to help then I should do it as a charity with whatever I can do it comfortably and not go out of my way to help the person.

![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmZn8TiEAScoRaSTJeGuKkxw9gjQ3UcDDBQYLh2tDi3P4y/image.png)
[Source](https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-alone-crowd-sad-depressed-2666433/)

But then 3 years back, again I faced a similar situation, and I got swayed away in it. A close friend of mine was down with health issues, and at the same time was also facing crises financially as her work had suffered. I was feeling emotional, though the health problem was nothing very serious, but then I was not feeling good that she asked me for help for medical reasons and I would say No, so I decided to help her. I helped her once and then after few days she again asked me, and I did it again, and then again and again, and I was seeing that it was a very convenient mean for her to get money out of me, and gradually she started asking for bigger amounts. The other part which was worrying me was, it was not that I could not, but then she by herself was not making any effort to earn. She was misusing my trust and the relationship of friendship with her. 

After some couple of months, I realized that I had lend her quite a big amount of money and it was almost impossible to receive it back from her, since she had no source of income, it was like I was hypnotized into giving her, and then suddenly got back to my senses. And then I decided to stop helping her in every way completely. As soon as I decided to stop helping her, gradually I noticed that she started drifting away, and then making excuses to not stay connected with me. For some months I was very shaken up, again I was going through the same cycle of my past. For me a friend means a lot and I will do whatever I can to be for them, but then this was a clear abuse, and I was to an extent tolerating her nonsense as well.

![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmaec4xyd4Ba85WPqiR6rRGfUsVmZjyjnKdU4kCNKWqyed/image.png)
[Source](https://pixabay.com/illustrations/awareness-helping-hand-support-4264012/)

In past also I had lost money due to these type of trust issues, but then this time the amount was big and it really shook me up for my own stupidity. After some months she completely disappeared and made herself totally unavailable for me. This was a bigger shock for me. I still cannot get over it that people can be so mean and so selfish, specially to people who help them in their most trying times. 

Anyways that's what life is all about, bringing us through situations from where we learn, grow and move on. Finally I have now firmly made up my mind to not lend money to anyone and also not get emotionally attached to people. I have learned that everyone has their own place and they should be kept there, with distance so that they do not intervene in your inner space and start disturbing your own peace of mind. 

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