@NoNamesLeftToUse Does It Again and then Tries to Write Some Advertisements Because Those Are Hot Right Now
funny·@nonameslefttouse·
0.000 HBD@NoNamesLeftToUse Does It Again and then Tries to Write Some Advertisements Because Those Are Hot Right Now
<center>**Good day to you. My name is in the headline.**</center> <center><sup>It is now my mission to produce only the highest of quality blog posts.</sup></center> <center>I've worked many hours in the field. I've done my research.</center> ### <center>I know ***what's up.***</center> ## Today <sup>I will show you ***It Again***, first.</sup> <center></center><center>***It Again***</center> ## It Again is Wonderful That's not enough for this post to be of the *superior quality variety* though. No sirree, it's not. One must include words. Important words. Words people like to read. Words worthy enough to sit in the highest slot in the history of high quality content. After much internalized debate, yours truly, @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself has decided to change formats. ***Your regularly scheduled programming will resume after these high quality advertisements that many people seem to enjoy.*** <center></center> # Pain Relief Commercial > *Ow... My pain hurts again...* **Are you about as pathetic as that guy?** Do your tits hurt? Do your balls hurt? Got a toothache? Break a nail? Does your ass still hurt from jail? ***Just take ten of these pills and when you awaken from your coma, you'll feel fresher than the Prince of Bel-Air!*** <sup>**Remember:** *If you need the __better stuff__; we know a Doctor.*</sup> <center></center> # Save a Canadian ***Everyday, many Canadians go without the things they need.*** Look at this guy. His name is, Maurice. He's 23 years old. Every afternoon, at approximately two o'clock, Maurice must walk all the way from this mother's basement to his mother's kitchen, to fetch orange juice. After all of that walking and climbing stairs, *Maurice is tired*. Now look how sad Maurice appears to be when he notices the jug is **empty**. ***For only one dollar per day, you can help Canadians like Maurice, drink orange juice.*** <sup>_*We now accept cryptocurrency!_</sup> <center></center> # Fast Food Commercial ***Get your fat on*** **with this new triple bacon deluxe cheeseburger!** Three 10 kilogram mouthwatering **slabs** of ground up animals seasoned with our secrets and lies between three shovelfuls of bacon; ***dripping*** with our **new and improved** *cheesy-like processed sauce-dip!* <sup>***But we didn't stop there.***</sup> ### Overly-inflated-ass sized buns! > *Excuse me strange man who's now in my house yelling at me about food; where's the lettuce?* ***Lettuce? Pfff!*** We fed the lettuce to the pig, then we put half of the pig in between some bread! **Simple!** There might even be a tomato in there somewhere! Even the beef is infused with pig! We only use the best cows and made them cuddle with pigs every night in the barn! So eat one **now** and buy three for later because when you **buy four**, we'll give you a **free barrel of cola!** <sup>___*Burgers may contain:___ _goat, kangaroo, rat, tiger, feces, dolphin, tree nuts, unicorn horn, rainbows, drywall, nail clippings, rust, meth, hairnets, hornets, cigarettes, vodka, gopher, Oprah, grass clippings, pencil shavings, whiskers, towels, curtains, cardboard and/or toilet paper._</sup> <center></center> # Vacuum Commercial ***Look at your floors you filthy animal!*** Your wife just left my house and she's on her way. > You're... ***him?*** ***We'll talk about that later; now hurry! Do something with your life!*** Wait a minute... Are you using a broom to sweep the carpet? ### *Aye Yi Yi!* Use the vacuum I bought for your wife to give you as a gift on your birthday! ***That's right! It's cordless!*** Now, turn it on. Feel that suction? No? Put it up to your dick. Now do you feel it? > Yes! This is amazing! ***I feel like a tornado chaser!*** Just look at all of that stuff spinning inside this *transparent plastic thing* we made! Around and around and around and holy shit I'm getting dizzy! > All of that dust was on my dick? Wow! That's right! <sup>**It sucks, ~~it fucks~~, _and_ it blows! Where the dirt goes, _nobody knows!_**</sup> ### *Then,* the wife walks in... > **Harry?** > ### *John!* > ## What are you guys doing with my vacuum! <center></center> <center>**And that concludes your wonderful advertisements!**</center> # <center>Have a nice day.</center> <center></center><center>**Credits:**</center><center><sub> **All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.**</sub></center> <center></center><center><sub>***"Well that's weird. My ads aren't trending like the other ads. Did I do it wrong?"***</sub></center> <center><sub>WhonamezuhStudio@gmail.com</sub></center> <center><sup>**© 2018 Two Insanity Productions. All rights reserved.**</sup></center><center>[**Follow @NoNamesLeftToUse**](https://steemit.com/@nonameslefttouse)</center><center><sup>[(Click the link for previous posts!)](https://steemit.com/@nonameslefttouse)</sup></center>
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