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My girlfriend and I have been engaged in a lot of arguments recently. I consider this healthy and inevitable considering that we both have very strong personalities. She doesn't see it the same way and thinks we should fix things.

When I was much younger, I thought loving someone was easy--it seems easy, especially during the first few months of dating. I never got past the first few months in my previous relationships. They didn't last that long.

In my previous relationships, arguing meant we passed the point of return, a place most people dread. I did not have the emotional skills to work through any form of conflict. I was young and inexperienced in matters of the heart.  So conflict was always a dealbreaker for me.

Things are a lot different now. I understand the important role of conflict in this phase of my relationship and the fact that I can still have a decent conversation with my partner and we can work our way through any conflict, gives me a lot of hope and faith in our relationship.

Loving anyone but yourself can be a daunting experience. It is never easy especially when your experiences, temperament differs from that of the person you love. It will take a lot of time and conscious effort to actually make things work in the long run.

Most people never get past the bickering stage of their relationship. It is often the phase that breaks most people. Most of us are deep-rooted narcissists and we would often choose self-preservation rather than let a problem/challenge overwhelm us.

It is refreshing being with someone who is vivacious. Although I have made a few attempts to quench that fire that shines in her eyes, I do understand that we need that spark. It gives life to our relationship.

Being with someone who thinks and acts as I do might seem like a good idea at first, however, it isn't something I fancy. Yes, the likelihood of conflict is reduced drastically but at the same time, we become susceptible to the same mistakes and trapped in our own bubble.

Opposites attract. We often attract the things we aren't in our bid to make life richer and it does come at a price that many are unwilling to pay. This applies to every type of relationship (both formal and informal).

In conclusion, not all conflict is bad and pointless. Conflicting situations can be a learning and growing opportunity for new couples especially. I have learnt a lot from my partner through conflict and have made some behavioural/attitudinal changes that have strengthened our relationship.

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