Healthy, happy, peaceful. Whenever I have dreamt of him, he has always been like that. One time, I dreamt I was awake, and had brought him back to life. He was walking toward me smiling and open; I thought he must be an illusion of mine.  Another woman was just behind me, and I turned to her to ask "You see him too?" She nodded yes, spell bound by him. We were both spell bound. I was still dreaming I was awake.

That one was dreadful to wake up from. 

*believing
that dreaming is time travel
helps*

*heaven
and dreams
are time travel*


*splash
I hear your beautiful plunk
right behind me*

*I thought 
I could do this but 
now I think I cannot*

*god bless the child
who dies in  
his mother's arms*

*our next walk will be
in a hundred acre wood
where crows 
still power our hearts*
*and you will leave me a note
just like the one you left for your dad,
your words, penned by my hand,
with sparkles all around them
leaving me,
as you predict,
so happy*

*I wish you deep and restful sleeps
a certainty that you can fly
and restored grace*









![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/owasco/23z7HzRXAMPNXc1o35hYaZEB59y3vMSp3gUk679cEeQEdG47WhU5rm6KqcFJqrswN3YCm.png)
***
Today you are thirty.

*I love you*


![FxX5caie56yqUbvo2DTJv1i6qm8z4ixTabBTrjodFyZCPuFbZDncXQB89jd6mZkWM2QSrq2ahH2DhyyNE1pjQLgqmXzcj4F36iojmAUYgMVQ 2.png](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/owasco/zFWUrrXE-FxX5caie56yqUbvo2DTJv1i6qm8z4ixTabBTrjodFyZCPuFbZDncXQB89jd6mZkWM2QSrq2ahH2DhyyNE1pjQLgqmXzcj4F36iojmAUYgMVQ202.png)

Shot was taken by his Aunt Terry. I messed around with it, trying to bring him back alive. I will never stop trying to do that. Never.