Stop screaming and start to understand.
relationship·@poeticsnake·
0.000 HBDStop screaming and start to understand.
<html> <p><img src="https://s6.postimg.org/ty1fyqf4h/STOP.jpg" width="1200" height="630"/></p> <p><strong>Quote by<br> </strong><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1538.Stephen_R_Covey"><strong>Stephen R. Covey</strong></a></p> <h1>“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”</h1> <p><strong>This quote is sadly very true!</strong> <br> When we are in a fight/argument we tend to listen to the words spoken by the other so that we can build a perfect reply to shout or throw back at them. When anger sets in we loose track of what is really important, listening to the words said and what they mean or what the person is trying to say. Instead of really listening we get too busy with forming our own opinion about the subject and we forget what the other person might be feeling or why they are trying to explain themselves. <br> </p> <p><strong>There can be many reasons that you do not really listen to the other person on a fight or discussion.</strong><br> You think you are right and the other is really wrong, You believe the other person is the real problem, you can't handle criticism or maybe you own anger might even blind you, or maybe you are just really selfish! Because we don't listen we miss the real message a person is trying to send us. And I do know how hard it can be to keep your mouth shut and just listen to what the other person is trying to say.</p> <p><strong>We all fight. It's perfectly normal.<br> </strong>I have had my share of fights in life and I can honestly say that I even started a bunch of them because I simply thought that I was right and I wanted to hear them say it. I was blind for their words, their feelings and the way they might see things because my way was the best way. It's a skill you will have to learn, listening is really hard and understanding the person you are listening to maybe even harder.<br> We can read our own feelings but we can't read the feelings or thoughts of the other person therefor we have to puzzle and find out. BUT, when they say things we don't like we often grab back to just blurring out an answer. </p> <p>https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f4/The_Scream.jpg<br> Image taken from Wikimedia.</p> <p><strong>STOP THAT!</strong> <br> Easier said then done. Trust me I know and even I fail sometimes. But I have learned that when I really place my focus on what the other person is saying and or feeling I can really hear what they are saying. The other person is sharing what THEY feel, not what they think is right or wrong and what they feel does not need to be true. I listen to every single word they say and even then I don't answer right away. I let the words sink into my mind and I try to place myself in their shoes. I tell myself that they are trying to explain how they feel or how they see things and with those words they are not attacking me. They are sharing. And I don't have to agree with them or feel the same. I don't have to see things like they do but I have to accept that it's the way they see it, feel it. </p> <p><strong>Time is your best friend.<br> </strong>When you take the time to let the words sink in you will see that your own reaction will be milder than when you just blur out your answer. And when you react calmer the other person might react calmer as well. It's a chain reaction. One screams, the other starts to scream as well making the first scream even harder to be louder than the other.... <strong>IT DOES NOT WORK.</strong></p> <p><strong>It takes two!<br> </strong>Of course you need two people talking this way for it to work but you can be the first to make a start. The next time you have a fight or discussion or disagreement sit or lean back and listen, take the time to let the words settle in your mind, than form your own reply and think before you say things back in a calm way.<br> You might still not agree in the end but is that really something that is important? Do we not all have a right to think and see things in our own way? We do not hurt anybody by not agreeing, we hurt them by forcing them to see, hear and act the way we think is right.<br> </p> <p><strong>Stop screaming and start to listen! It will change your life! </strong></p> <p>https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/83/8b/8e/838b8e1e0862e109774ae8cece97afa7.jpg</p> <p>Image from pinterest</p> <p><br></p> </html>
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