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The relativity of time has never been experienced as much as during the pandemic in my opinion. The year 2021 still feels like the end of 2019, and it's as if it was just yesterday when people were hoarding toilet paper and hand sanitizers in grocery stores.

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![Photo from unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1609743522471-83c84ce23e32?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=334&q=80)
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People were still in denial of the pandemic then, our country leaders included and made a huge mistake of taking it for granted. It was as if it was yesterday when the first few people were rushed to the ER for flu-like symptoms, medical front liners didn't use hazmat suits then and didn't anticipate that a surge of flu-like symptoms would get to this point in their careers. Some of these heroes died in the battlefield, saving lives. Some are still here, and some have become patients themselves.

People lost their jobs due to the pandemic. Businesses closed down, large companies, institutions and airlines declared themselves bankrupt. Overseas workers were stranded, forced to live with uncertainty, with some already scavenging for food and shelter in a place where they are of second priority.

Just an unfortunate twist of fate they said. No one wants to be responsible. Bad news are being gunned from all directions, hoping that people at home in some way feel better about themselves by having some entity to blame. The cases is still rising. It's because of the President! No, it's the LGUs! No, it's the people asking help from the government! No, it's the vaccine! No, it's the people bypassing protocols outdoors!

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![Photo from unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1586475869992-102fedfb747b?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=749&q=80)
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The populace blames the government for not doing enough. Government workers and policy makers having no substantial background on the issue and lack an idea of what's going on, equally blame the populace for not following the most minimal of health protocols. It's a circus I'm telling you.

In some other country that feels like a different universe, people are dying in the most horrific way possible, aside from their struggles with the pandemic. People are dying because of guns, and bombs and knives because, war. 

While all of these issues are ongoing, most people stay at home and succumb to the anxiety, loneliness and the hunger for physical affection and connection. People's average mental health for the past year has not been its best. Mine included.

![Photo from unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1608502339697-d069dbc16969?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=750&q=80)

Yet in the midst of this chaos, we still cling to whatever gives us hope. May it be our faith, or some semblance of our past lives before the pandemic that we hope to see after all this is over, or  the new ways people learned to cope with the grief and loss during the pandemic, or maybe people are past that point and want to rebel recklessly, or rebel altogether and manage the risk. Whatever that keeps them sane, they're doing it.


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![Photo from unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1627903567672-81066acb2d47?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=334&q=80)
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I remembered an August which I then called "the most unproductive time of my life", actually turned out to be quite the opposite. I was younger, still getting the hang of adulthood. But don't get me wrong, like the last August, that August was filled with a lot of cold days with dread, some bridging towards early September. It involved a lot of unwelcomed but necessary stillness. 

There were times I felt alone, either physically or around people I am supposed to love. It was the time I went back to my roots and in a state of rebellion, reconnect with the people I never thought I'd be this close to.

When I think of this particular August, I actually remember the lyrics on Taylor Swift's "August" from *folklore*. Some lines hit hard like an enormous wave in the ocean. Some are so subtle that I had to let weeks pass through in order to let some realizations sink in.

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<h2>But I can see us 
lost in the memory,
August slipped away into a moment in time
'Cause it was never mine</h2> </div>

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![Photo from Unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522075782449-e45a34f1ddfb?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=750&q=80)
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This line is for the future thirty or forty year old me, who knows where my high school friends would be. Most will probably be married, wonderful, successful and stressed adults. Like the many reasons we lose contact with our childhood friends, our high school friends, because we grow, and we change, and we eventually start having different priorities. 

We'll probably travel and live in different places here and there and eventually have to leave our hometowns. But at least the one thing that will never change will be the memories of August and nights of adulting angst under the influence of cheap alcohol.

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![Photo from unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1436076863939-06870fe779c2?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=750&q=80)
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<h2>
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away
Like a bottle of wine
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To be fair, we never drank wine. Most of us at that time had a starting salary, so we were cheap, and just like most twentysomethings who look for relief around friends and alcohol, wine wasn't going to cut it. ~~Bottles of wine~~ *Tanduay* was our best friend at least during that August.

I'd probably still remember the keeping all the work group chats on mute so I could have more phone space on my notifications bar from our HS *barkada* gc. I never realized how old we were until half of my friends were already owning and driving their own cars or their motorcycles. 

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<h2>Remember when I pulled up
And said "Get in the car"
And then canceled my plans
Just in case you'd call?</h2> </div>

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![Photo from Unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1468510634867-6747418867dc?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=666&q=80) 
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And by then, I'd probably still remember being at the mercy of those same people whenever a session was in, since I was the one who didn't know how to drive, and didn't have a car.

The memories of being pulled over for some road violation would also be something that will put a smile on my face every time -- twenty-something year old's with licenses whose fear can be sensed from a mile away by the local police officers. Wild stories of having a row with the local authorities like this is not something you'd tell your parents or kids, but definitely it's worth remembering, and laughing over a pitcher of rum coke.

If it's not obvious enough, these people have a special place in my heart. Amidst all the confusion of what growing up and adulting brings, all the thrilling frustration of realizing there are things educational institutions fail to teach us about the nature of adulthood, the fact that somehow we're doing it together makes this whirlwind phase, bearable and *survivable*, and possible even *thrivable* (I invented the word). I'm glad there are some people that remind us that it's okay to be frustrated and confused and angry, and that somehow my concerns are not unique because there is a lot of my batch who feel the same way.

That sense of belongingness is real, and it exists in spite of the differences between my friends and I. Some of them are accountants, some engineers, some psychologists, teachers, agents and students, some are into fandoms, some are not, some are religious, some are not. But that sense of belongingness is there, and it is to die for regardless of where we are and how long we have talked, and this is the hope I'm clinging to in the next Augusts to come.

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**Photo credits:**
[Mulyadi](https://unsplash.com/@mullyadii) from Unsplash
[ Anastasiia Chepinska](https://unsplash.com/@anastasiiachepinska) from Unsplash
[engin akyurt](https://unsplash.com/@enginakyurt) from Unsplash
[Anna Tsukanova](https://unsplash.com/@annabell_flem) from Unsplash
[Patrick Tomasso](https://unsplash.com/@impatrickt) from Unsplash


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<div class="text-justify">
<b> About The Protean Creator:</b>

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https://scontent.fceb1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/174786765_4521640831185911_924882613923359213_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=09cbfe&_nc_eui2=AeHkjD8eLA_avnlV8t8_tVFQY5ZDNblchHdjlkM1uVyEd50x07Bg35AG_4AlYUiU6fqKP-YeevLeze_IkBgSlx8a&_nc_ohc=oS6YdWlH0gAAX-nlPu4&_nc_ht=scontent.fceb1-1.fna&oh=66dc34c77c6f4a186de4ab4412a7cf90&oe=60A6A7F9
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<sub> Roxanne Marie is the twenty-year-old something who calls herself the [Protean Creator](https://proteancreatorconfessions.blogspot.com/2018/05/what-is-protean-creator.html).</sub>

<sub> She is a chemical engineer by profession, pole-dancer and blogger by passion and frustration, and lastly, a  life enthusiast. She is on a mission to rediscover her truth through the messy iterative process of learning, relearning and unlearning. Currently, she works as a science and research instructor in  her hometown, Tagbilaran City, all the while documenting her misadventures, reflections and shenanigans as a working-class millennial here on Hive. </sub>

<sub> If you like her content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. It would be an honor to have this post reblogged as well. Also, don't forget to follow her to be updated with her latest posts.
</sub>

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