Dogs or cats? Which one should you get?
funny·@rahul.stan·
0.000 HBDDogs or cats? Which one should you get?
Do you want to get a pet? Are you lonely and want to fill the void left by your ex in your heart by a furry animal? Are you depressed because no one likes you and you would rather be with animals than with other fellow humans? Fear not! Today we are going to answer the life long question that man has been perplexed about since the beginning of time.  [Source](http://www.pusheen.com/post/57384052090) Which pet is better, dogs or cats? Let's analyse each faction carefully. ## Dogs  Also known as doge, doggo or floof, these are furry creatures which belong to the canine family. They are faithful and loyal to you as long as you treat and train them well. Untrained dogs may shit on your carpet, eat your shoes, urinate everywhere and destroy your sofa but it is worth the cute faces they make and their unconditional love for their whole life. Size: Ranges from smaller than a soccer ball to a full sized wolf. Strength: Making cute faces and has teeth that can break your bones in a single bite. Requirements: Requirements range from just food and hair brushes to your sleep, your soul, your attention 24/7, 50,000$ in healthcare, 50,000$ in furniture and apparel damages, and your hands getting dirty cleaning their shit. Weakness: Will accept food from strangers making them less efficient guard dogs. Perks: Can learn amazing tricks like attract humans of the opposite gender, and other tricks ranging from handshakes to friggin backflips. Cheats: You can use "good boy" and "good girl" to make them do what you want to a small aspect. Beware: They may love you so much that you end up being devastated by their death. ## Cats  Also known as catto or "the devil himself" these are also furry creatures but they belong to the feline family. They are very opposite to dogs. You can train them as well but their willingness depends on them. Although you may think you're the boss, you're not. The cat is the real boss and you need to oblige to its needs. According to popular beliefs, it has nine lives and is constantly waiting for you to die so that it can eat you. Size: Relatively small but if you want one of the exotic ones like a tiger or a lion, you'll need a lot of space to accommodate them. You'll also need cages otherwise it'll just devour you, but if you are a normal human being you'll want a regular house cat which doesn't take up much space. Strength: Excellent at catching rats and other smaller animals, can bitchslap dogs, 0 hp fall damage, can scratch your eye off. Requirements: Unlike dogs, they don't require much apart from food, a few toys, something to scratch and fragile objects to throw off the table. Weakness: Will poop inside the house, they throw up more often. Perks: Even if you don't come home in 2 days, it'll just be fine. They don't require much attention and you would not have to worry about pests. Cheats: Use cat nip to get them high and calm down. Beware: They may unexpectedly bite or scratch you. ___ Now let's get back to our question. Which one should you get? It depends on what kind of person you are. If you are timid and want to feel like you're in charge so that you'll forget what a loser you are in real life, get a dog. Whereas, if you are strong willed and dominant and don't want the approval of an animal to feel good, and don't require a pet too clingy get a cat. ___ # If you made it to the end leave an upvote and comment which one you prefer. Have a very prosperous year ahead! *Images are sourced unless under CC0 license* Edit: This is just humour, you're not supposed to take this seriously.