<center>![man-4408651_1920.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/raj808/23y8hQJ16EcThZEMsprUEhMr4JkejAGAqEzry7an8ZZebZGiM8UScGkr6V4nAZkwqASuq.jpg)</center><sub>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/jwvein-5584447/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=4408651">Janusz Walczak</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=4408651">Pixabay</a></sub>

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<center>This poem addresses issues around how depression can make you feel like you're battling yourself. I have lived with lifelong depression, and no anti-depressants ever helped me, if anything they made it worse. I'm not currently suffering with bad depression, as I found the magical combo of exercise, which self regulates the brain (through endorphin release), and meditation. This allowed me to slow down my busy thoughts that were causing anxiety/depression. However; this poem is a reflection drawn from past experiences and is deeply personal. Although it's a little dark, I hope you enjoy it.</center>

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> <h5>Sciamachy (noun)
Phrenetic: sci·​am·​a·​chy sīˈaməkē
Definition: a fighting with a shadow : a mock or futile combat (as with an imaginary foe)</h5>
<sub>[Merriam Webster Dictionary](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sciamachy)</sub>

https://soundcloud.com/rowan-joyce/sciamachy-original-poetry-reading?si=78af8e38f0494c8f803da06dd936f027&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

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<center>I beat my head against the wall,
these rotten welts of thought
wrought from hollow echoes,
rumination, rhythmic in [sciamachy.](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sciamachy)</center>

<center>Polluted by voices resonating,
gestating Doppler effect,
I reject the shadows flitting, 
scheming [sciamachy.](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sciamachy)</center>

<center>I see black marks for eyes,
the mirror feeds lies 
of humanity in this sleeve
of dead unyielding grief.</center>

<center>Breath rattles, as I battle
the several selves, awareness
enmeshed in gibbering, quivering;
ensnared by sciamachy.</center>

<center>Blood rent arms, farm scars
like tracks of a plough through earth,
while the other me blames life,
and birth for this [sciamachy.](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sciamachy)</center>

<center>Hissing whispered whines;
'why don't you just find,
a hole and bury yourself alive.
Breath the soil, let maggots shrive
your skin away in waves of rage.</center> 

<center>Assuage those others,
your sisters and brothers,
of ego and id, determined
to shed skin, reject hope 
in [sciamachy.'](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sciamachy)</center>

___

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<center>All images used in this post are creative commons, sourced from pixabay.com or used with owners permission. If you have enjoyed this poetry post, you can check out my other work on my homepage @raj808. Thanks for reading.</center>

<center>If you have enjoyed this post and want to read more of my writing, check out my homepage [@raj808](https://peakd.com/@raj808). <b>Thanks for reading/listening 🙂🌿</b></center>

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