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I don't think I've ever gone 4 days without posting on steem before. But I've been tired the last few days, as I recently returned to BTC trading and had forgotten how much it can feel like a drug when you get in the swing of things. 

The adrenaline of taking a position with leverage and trading based on moving averages takes a special type of crazy. I've had a few decent successes in the last month, but it has taken a lot of focus to follow my strategies and properly manage risk... and a fair amount of chart watching 🤯

The thing is I've never really been someone who cares all that much about money... until the shit hits the fan and things get sketchy with debts etc. And this is ok! I have no children, or dependents, so if I choose to live this mad existence earning my keep from blogging, writing for a few websites and some other freelance work, I'm not hurting anyone. 

But sometimes it just gets old scrabbling to pay the bills. It may seem that trading BTC is far from the answer, but at the moment it's the best answer I've got as my crypto has been sat in hodl-mode for over 18 months. 

It's well past time I put it to work!

A real job just isn't an option for me at the moment as the chronic illness I suffer can leave me bed bound at the drop of a hat, but in those times when it strikes it's doable to force myself the distance from my bed to my computer to follow up on an alert from blockfolio.

I have to be honest, I've made more from basic support/resistance trading, and conservative margin trading in the last month than I have in the last 4 months writing on steem.

So why the dramatic title? 

To Post or Not to Post? That might be a bit of clickbait 🤣

Don't worry, I'll never stop posting on steem. This place has been the catalyst for my return to writing and it holds a special place in my heart! I guess this freewrite is just my way to work through my thoughts, and conceptualise what has been at the back of my mind for a while now. 

There is nothing wrong with adjusting steem habits to fit in with life's rhythms!

I think sometimes on steem we all push ourselves based on what we think is expected of us. Sometimes this may take the form of adhering to a certain genre, or trying to produce daily when the spark isn't... sparking.

I had an epiphany the other day and I've decided to stop beating myself up about a lot of stuff. My illness, which I can't control and my capacity for work which is closely linked to my health. 

So if my posts come a little less often this is why. I've come to realise just how unimportant these types of stresses are in the grand scale of things. 

My focus on steem hasn't changed, but I've let go of these (unrealistic) self imposed expectations I place on myself.

Thanks for reading my late night ramblings.

P.s. I'm writing this on my phone to test out Esteem's post editor... so far it seems pretty good. My only criticism @good-karma is that it could do with a spell checker 😉