Yes exactly - I've hit a point where I know I could be dead any day. It's a knowledge that seeps into your very soul. It's not a bad thing. 

That paper sounds interesting. Care to share or have you shared on chain? 

All the moments are blessed really, even if you're down with illness. When you realize this I think you complain less. Or at least understand in your complaints that you're grateful too for breath and life.