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I suppose I should be more cheerful, all things considered. I've managed to make it to the age of 47 years old; I've also manageed to get a new job in the recent weeks.  So what am I ranting about today?  Well, a bit of a retrospective would help me out...

The past two years I worked for two companies in the south western portion of Wisconsin.  The title of the role was Cheif Financial Officer, but that wasn't actually accurate.  I was more of payroll clerk, accounts payable clerk, receptionist, clerk, data entry clerk...well, you probably see where all that went.  Not quite what it was billed up to be, and I believed the pitch enough to take the role...and blew through tons of red flags with the owner over two years believing "things would get better..."  Well, they did not. 

Still, I was able to handle it and managed to wade through plenty of drama and unethical behaviors of both staff and the owner.  Whatever.  I did it, and on to better things...but it begs the question : will it ever be better?

From my first job on from school, I have always had awful bosses.  Bullies, narcissists, jealous types, petty types, and vindictive types.  Aside from one boss who I only temporarily appreciated while working in international finance, they've all sucked.  They might have been decent people outside of work, but while at work, they were awful.  Full of games, bull shit, carrying no plan, and above all else, all were highly dependent on finding something to take the attention off of themselves. Very cliche!

Currently, I've moved on to another role in the accounting realm...one in the foundry business.  One week in, all is well.  Yet still, I wonder: where is the next problem going to arise?  Will there be a moment when I go right back to square one and think "shit, why do I keep putting myself in these positions?"  I would like to think things will be different, but my +20 years of corporate work experience tends to make me think things will be the same.

I don't know. What do you think?  Do you think its possible to work for just a an "average" boss or supervisor? One who doeen't get off on gas lighting or manipulating their employees?  Or is the nature of the beast?  Will it never change?  

As I sit here on a Sunday night, full of anxiety about going to work tomorrow, all of these thoughts flutter in my head.  And who knows...maybe this time all the worry is for nothing?