![PicsArt_06-06-11.38.59.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSSPsXKUaNdTUE1s6rnyiJ5k9R5iUF7fF1Ukhg6sLUZtU/PicsArt_06-06-11.38.59.jpg)

Here we again guys... It is that time that I can't control myself and that I shouldn't be writing this post. But even if I could stop right now I will just keep going until I got it all out. And even if I could not press that "post" button by now You know I did it because You are reading this.

What is my place in the STEEM Community? What do I have to offer to everyone in here? There is value in what I do? Am I completely delusional? Should I have stopped doing this long time ago? Am I helping anyone? Is even entertaining?

Or maybe is me as person. Don't look at the numbers because that 2K followers that I have (for some reason I can't explain) are not active. You can see the real Value of what I do when it comes to the numbers of comments and upvotes I actually get.

I feel so lucky that I have a nice group of People in here that I am closer and that I interact the most being an amazing bunch.

But real talk. I've joined the community to be able to express my artistic side, to evolve and obviously have an income that allow me to make a living.

For that I would have needed to reach a bigger audience in here or fall in the grace of a smaller group of people with deep pockets if You know what I mean.

I am unapologetic myself no matter what and the people that know me in here probably follow me and like me for that. But I guess that is not something good when it comes to business wise.

I can't stop thinking that maybe this is it for me. Making a career and being able to make a living of my creativity will never happen. I could get out there "playing the game" to get me to that point where I would be able to making a living of my own stuff. But I am not that type of person. I wouldn't be proud or happy or even able to spend one day thinking about that stuff I did to achieve that goal.

Since I have been part of this community for a really long time and I had my highs and lows I feel that many people know about me they just don't enjoy what I do or myself as I said.

That's the reason I am writing this. Because I feel that I might have hit that point where from here the only way is down. And this time I don't know how to deal with this and also I don't know how to solve it.

For once and for real I feel that maybe. Just maybe. I gave my all to the community but that wasn't something the community was interested.

I am a warrior and I've been that way all my life. I am too proud sometimes and I don't like to surf on someone's else back to the top. If I will ever get there I want it to be bacause of my talent and hard work.

There is so many other stuff I would like to talk but maybe another day. Because this nonsense is too long already.

Please you don't have to reply. This is just a rant and I just needed to put this energy out of me. It will always be fine (or not 😂) 

Know that I Love the community in here and specially everyone that so kindle have been supporting me for so long already. The problem is not You, it's me.