<center>https://i.imgur.com/0O8mhdx.jpg</center>

When it comes to expressing ideas and opinions I’ve often been fascinated at the diversity of ways people choose to share. 

While I was attending church regularly in the small community I live in, I was elected to the parish advisory board. The board was made up of members of the congregation who were responsible for the day to day operations of the parish and to work with the priest when it came to the ministry of the church. 

Board meetings were often made more interesting by the diversity of those sitting at the table. I’m not talking about cultures, I’m talking about communication styles. There was one elderly couple I found to be a contrast in extremes when it came to communicating matters they felt strongly about. 

My first introduction to Mabel was at an advisory board meeting following a talent show in the church sanctuary. As a group we discussed how the show had gone over with the audience and possible ways to incorporate that success into encouraging new people to try attending worship at our little parish. There was some talk of possibly making it a semi-annual event. 

I had never made the connection between the value of a seemingly unrelated community event being used to improve worship attendance. Yes, I was young and had a lot to learn in life. 

Mabel had sat quiet through most of the meeting. As we moved toward the end of the meeting she spoke up. “Well, there is something I need to say here. You need to know, people are NOT happy at the use of the church sanctuary for anything but worship. It needs to stop now!”

I saw a bemused look flicker across the priest’s face as the rest of the group sat in silence waiting for her to respond. “Well, I'm guessing they might object to The Woman in Red for the next production then, eh?” 

Mabel shook her head and made a derisive sound but didn’t answer. The meeting ended without further discussion. 

I watched at meetings as Mabel often invoked “people don’t like” as though she was speaking truth for the masses. I often was left wondering who these people were. It was a small congregation and I didn’t hear other members agreeing at meetings or even when chatting with them. 

Mabel wasn’t a bad person. She had given many years of faithful service to the parish. Most of the time what she was expressing were opinions on actions we were either taking or considering. It was rather puzzling why she was always the messenger for these silent people. 

The priest must have been just as puzzled. She’d been with the congregation for only a few months. Finally at one of our meetings she challenged Mabel. In a non-confrontational manner she asked her who these people were. Mabel declined to say. 

She took a different approach, she asked for a general idea about them. What age group are they in? How many people? What genders? Did they have any suggestions what to do instead of what they were objecting to? 

Each question saw Mabel grow increasingly non-responsive. The penny finally dropped for me. The people in Mabel’s statements were really a person, her. She was speaking her own ideas and not owning them. She thought expressing herself as speaking for others carried more weight. They would get more attention. 

Instead of owning her ideas she tried to project them onto others who may or may not be in agreement. She believed she spoke for the silent and carried their message. She was also of a generation in which women were not encouraged to have or express ideas no matter how good they were. 

<center> https://i.imgur.com/o9iHDlH.png </center> 

## Her husband, George, had no hesitation. 

George would put his opinions out as fact you dare not refute. Ask a question or express a counter idea and you’d soon find yourself on the end of a man screaming at you to mind your place. 

By then I was serving as parish secretary. I was seated beside the priest during meetings, taking notes and generally helping our then new priest to keep on track. 

One evening we were discussing a project we wanted to undertake to repair part of the building. George forcefully laid out who was going to do the work and how it was going to be done. People around the table looked around uncomfortably. They didn’t agree with him but were nervous of saying so. 

The priest asked if more than one contractor had given a quote on the job. One of the parishioners spoke up to say no, but he thought there should be. George responded as he always did, he started repeating himself at the top of his lungs. An even more uncomfortable silence fell around the table. 

I was not prepared for the explosion which erupted beside me. The priest responded by just as loudly screaming back at George that other contractors would be consulted and he was to stop yelling at people. My pen gouged the paper as I jumped out of my skin. 

As I collected myself I glanced around the table. George had fallen silent, glared at the priest and then nodded assent. Mabel had a look of shock on her face and others looked relieved. The days of George clubbing others with his words were over. 

In the following years Mabel would point to that incident as her proof the priest was the worst we ever had. When she was reminded the priest had yelled in response to her husband yelling, she would shrug and say, “well that’s just George but he was THE PRIEST!” like a priest should never raise their voice. 

There is nothing wrong with having ideas, concerns or suggestions about anything. We have every right to not only have them, but to express them. We need to own our statements. They are no better by claiming they are group-think than by claiming them as your own. 

Yelling and demanding what you’re putting forth be accepted as gospel is wrong and manipulative. Putting yourself forward as the spokesperson for others is just as manipulative. It’s one thing to have been talking to people, summarize what you took from the convo and then give your opinion. It’s quite another to claim you speak for them. 

### Want to keep up on what is happening in The Ramble? [Sign up here](https://www.subscribepage.com/ramblingradionnewsletter)

<center> https://i.imgur.com/G7iTFI1.png </center>

<center>[![the ramble](https://i.imgur.com/kFxgHpB.jpg)](https://discord.gg/hzhzWxw)</center>

## Until Next Time — Just Steem on 
<center> https://i.imgur.com/G7iTFI1.png </center>

<center>[![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/commented.png?20190717)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/votes.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/posts.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/postallweek.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub) [![](https://steemitimages.com/100x80/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/level.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/birthday2.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/comments.png?20190712)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/voted.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)  [![](https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub/payout.png?20190702)](https://steemitboard.com/@shadowspub)</center>

<center> https://i.imgur.com/5nKnMqj.png</center>

### If you like this, please follow me and upvote the post. 

<center>https://i.imgur.com/FbAdsdz.png </center> 
### Keep in touch, [join my newsletter list here](https://www.subscribepage.com/pmwriternewsletter)