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1. I’m primarily a craftsman of ideas, not an idea creator. This makes me incapable of stealing anything. See, I took the idea for this list from another writer, but because I’ve spent years not just coming up with ideas, but learning how to shape them, the concept of stealing ideas becomes irrelevant to me. Once I touch something, mold it, press it into the shape of my particular reticulum order, it belongs to me. That’s why I avoid the conversations about ‘What hasn’t been done before’, or the collective whining about ‘Nothing being original’. I made sure that if I wrote something - it would not be a replication of the outside world, but a reflection of me.

2. My body is not a vessel that can be ignored for the sake of my writing. My body and mind work in continuum, and one cannot be starved for the sake of the other. Ignoring my body is not: Noble, artistic, brave, making sure my priorities are straight. Life is not an RPG where I put all my points in Intelligence so I can ignore my strength. If I have a strong, healthy body that I don’t starve and abuse, it’ll supplement my mind - not subtract from it.

3. Virginia Woolf was right. Virginia Woolf is nearly always right. I need a “Room of One’s Own” (Even if this is just mental space). I need to surround myself with people that respect that space. It takes energy to be constantly fighting for one’s right to exist, breathe, create. Energy that could be used for writing. Maybe other people can live with the constant friction, but for whatever reason I can’t. I don’t feel guilty for throwing a fit after my girlfriend said there was no room in our new apartment for my writing desk. (If you’re going to admire something about me - don’t try to detract from the things that helps it grow!) If someone doesn’t respect your space, time, or right to exist without their constant input - leave. I don’t care if I don’t have anywhere else to go, it’s better than spending another second in that kind of environment.

4. I almost never see this writing advice anywhere, but it’s held true for me. The potent combination of: Young, attractive, talented, intelligent, horribly insecure, and desperate for external validation ALMOST KILLED MY WRITING. Men and women have used my talent as a weapon against me - and because I wanted to be loved I let them. They tried to own my writing, in the disguise of being my editor, my teacher/mentor, my lover. I’ve seen grown men’s haughtiness SHRINK in front of me after they’ve read my writing and realized how insecure it made them to be less talented than me. This was often quickly followed by an aggressive campaign to Critique/Edit/Criticize/Rip my self-esteem to shreds. I’ve had someone stick a used condom into my printed out manuscript. (At the time I was so beaten down, I thought it was funny to be abused like that) When people were angry at me - they’d try to rip my writing apart, or laugh at my aspirations. (“Do you really think you’re better than these other writers?”) If people were trying to fuck me, they’d tell me my writing needed work or try to downplay what I’d accomplished so I’d seek validation from them. By age 23, I was so incredibly burnt out by all of this that I nearly stopped writing completely. I’m 27 now, FOUR YEARS LATER, and I’m still feeling the aftershocks of all of that damage.

5. If I want to keep writing, I need to remember why I started in the first place. I need to remember the rush of chemicals triggered in my brain when I read Bram Stoker in 2nd grade, how the words were alive, how reading felt like cold water being slowly poured onto my unconscious self. Like waking up for the first time. What it felt like to first read Ray Bradbury, or C.S Lewis, or Philip K. Dick, or Anne Rice, and the warmth that flushed from the text, to my fingertips, to the heartbeat. If I want to keep writing, I have to remember just how much words mean to me.

6. I have to realize that I’m already living the life that I wanted to as a child - writing, talking to amazing creative people, doing book readings, signings, visiting cool places. How they all lead back to: Those glorious, silent, sanctioned moments at the computer, when for a few precious moments my brain and fingers are synchronous. What I want I ALREADY HAVE. What I have to look forward to is more of that, and better. The only thing I have to do is continue the forward momentum of being myself.

7. Writing is not a replacement for life. It is a supplement. Life needs to be enjoyed, consumed, partaken in. It is not just a mosaic to be torn apart, distilled down into words. Writing serves life. It is NEVER the other way around. We write because life exists, and because we desire to partake in it. Writing cannot replace life.


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Self portrait taken by me canon t51