I slipped back into the bed. Lay there staring at the ceiling. Replaying what I'd seen and heard. Filtered through the guilt I felt at my spying. Dan had a big gold band on the ring finger of his left hand. He was married. That explained the secrecy of their assignations. At least the one I'd witnessed. I knew from the overheard phone call the two of them didn't want anyone to find out. The adulterous couple were covering their affair. It was none of my business as such. I had no right to make any judgement. I did however feel sympathy for the two of them. Around 2:30 AM I heard him leave, back through the window. For some reason I had to check, so I moved to the other window, looking out through a gap in the curtains. It was dark outside, but I could see him trudging across the lawn. No sign of her and no light in her room.

I'd only needed a few hours sleep since the accident. Four to six was more than enough for me. Often I'd sleep a few hours, wake and either lie still or get up and do something like read. Then go back to sleep for a couple of hours. It was one of my creepy behaviors the other foster carers had found disturbing. I was awake again at least two hours before the sun came up. I got out the laptop and booted it up. I tested the limits of the filter Crystal had on her internet connection. No I didn't go looking for porn. I checked which sites were considered adult by the software. A couple of old favorites were blocked. Neither of them particularly risque, as far as this 12 year old was concerned. To this day I've no idea why I couldn't connect to them. I remember one of the websites was natural history. Maybe the plants and animals were doing scurrilous things.

Ms Goodbody came to wake me at around seven. Finding me up already she watched me for a while. The bed was of some interest to her. Barely disturbed though I'd slept in it. Another foible of mine. I slept at attention. My arms by my sides, not even moving in my sleep. I'm convinced it was a habit instilled into me by pain. Up in the mountains and then throughout my medical treatment any movement hurt. I'd learned to be still. For while I chose to ignore the discomfort, it chose not to ignore me. As she stood there, I knew I had to show her something I'd spotted during the night. Telling her straight out would have been simplest. Perversity made me show instead. She stepped aside as I moved to the window behind where she was standing. I opened the curtains and looked out on the rear lawn. She gave a barely audible gasp, but that was the only sign she'd seen the footprints in the snow. 

"Must have been sleep walking again." She murmured.
I wasn't sure if it was a little witticism or a poor attempt of a coverup. I looked up at her. Maybe I was trying to instruct or assist her. I had elected myself as a co conspirator in the subterfuge.
"No. The footsteps leading up to the house were made first. See where they slid down that slope? It snow plowed. The prints going away from the house intersect that. Meaning they were made after the others, when whoever came here left."
"I don't think there's anything to worry about kid. Somebody got lost in the night and came to the wrong house. Took a look through the window and realized their mistake. No point getting anyone into trouble over this. Is there?"
There was a possibility she thought I was going to blackmail her. I hadn't meant to disturb her, I'd actually thought I was helping her keep her secret. By showing her the evidence of her nocturnal visitor. That they needed to be more careful. I knew I needed to remedy my mistake. I could only think of one way. I was already dressed. So I went to the back door at the end of the corridor, unlocked it and rushed outside. Where I threw myself into the drifts and rolled around until most of the footprints were obscured. She must have seen me through the window. When I came back in wet and shivering she led me to the bathroom again. Wrapping me in a towel as she filled the bath. Two baths in less than a day. My life had changed.

I hoped this had worked. I wanted her to be at ease. It was a near certainty I'd only be with her for a week or two. For once my ability to disturb people and rub them up the wrong way worked against me. When I emerged from the guest bathroom, she was standing in the kitchen. Deep in thought. Her fingers drumming on the worktop. Then she was back in the room. A tentative smile on her face. Crystal cooked me a breakfast of scrambled egg, hashbrowns and sausage. While we ate I could see the battle taking place inside her. She'd thought of something, but wasn't entirely sure about it. After four or five aborted attempts to express it to me, she finally summoned up the nerve. Not enough to tell me exactly what she was thinking of.

"Will you do me a favor?" She asked. "Jesus, you remind me of that English guy.... Sherlock Holmes!"
Having spooked her so badly I wanted nothing more than to comply. I knew she wouldn't hurt me. She might ambush me in a bathroom, but whatever she'd done was for my benefit. If I could do something for her benefit, I was happy to do so.
"Okay."
She looked surprised. I think she assumed I'd question her on what she wanted.
"I want to take you for a drive. Show you something."

Twenty minutes later we were in the Cherokee. It was refusing to start. Ms Goodbody cursed it. Jumping out with a tire iron in her hand she lifted the hood and struck something on the engine. I later learned, through repetition, it was the starter motor. It took a couple of attempts, before the engine roared into life. I checked out the local neighborhood as we set off. I felt some mild excitement. I was doing her a favor. I'd find out what it was at the end of our road trip. We made one stop, at a Walmart. Where she left me in the car while she went inside. Crystal came out carrying two bunches of flowers. What the hell could that mean? About 20 miles further on I worked out this wasn't about the potential bomb I'd dropped on her. Even when my existence threatened her happiness, she'd thought of me first. That's what impressed me. And at that point in my short life I took a lot of impressing.

We turned off the highway onto a side road. At the end of which was a cemetery. I recognised the name from the hoarding above the gate. This was where the state had buried my parents. As I'd been shipped to the States, once their bodies were released by the medical examiner in Canada, they followed. I hadn't attended the funeral. Too busy being put back together. It wouldn't have been much of one with me as the sole mourner, I expect someone said words over them. Crystal kept me under constant scrutiny as we parked and made our way to a far corner. A little plot, surrounded by high walls, that was an afterthought. She handed me the flowers when we reached the two small wooden markers. Nothing on them except their names. Hannah and Peter Hunt. There was a bench against the wall nearest to where their graves lay. Crystal gave me an encouraging nod. Eyes locked on me, she sat, after wiping it dry with her sleeve.

No one had thought to do this for me. Not their fault. The dead can take care of themselves and the authorities had done their best. Looking back I became disconnected from the world and connected with them. It felt right to be there, even though I knew the charred corpses buried in the ground weren't my parents. Only what little remained of them. I crouched down. Placing the flowers with inordinate care. Then I communed with them. I don't believe in God or an afterlife. I believed in my parents though. Now I also believed in her. The sparky Indian woman who'd been saddled with me. No idea how long I was squatting there for until I felt her presence behind me. 

"Have you ever wished you could just lie down and die?" I asked without moving or acknowledging her.
"I've been pretty low at times... Truthfully? Yes I have."
"That's how I feel all the time."
She touched my shoulder.
"You don't think about killing yourself do you kid?" Her voice trembled with heartfelt concern.
"No. Never. They told me I had to be a man. They told me there was a reason I had to survive. There's something very important I have to do. They didn't tell me what it was though. Hallucinations are like that, very poor on the details. I expect I'll find out one day. I have to be patient."
Her eyes were sparkling again, when I looked. Her hand still on my shoulder. Unshed tears, that's what it was. It wasn't like the sparkle she'd shown Dan. For me? I hoped not. She looked down at my worthless form, forcing a smile. And then I knew. They were for me. Instead of being appalled, as I thought I should be, I felt blessed. I knew, whatever short time I had with this woman I had to treasure every second of it. I'd never encounter anyone else like her. She'd given me a last goodbye to mom and dad. A gift I could never repay.