A New Year has been born this first day of January 2018. That means 2017 is dead but don't be sad. It was getting on a bit anyway. It's a tragic truth that 2017 only had a life expectancy of 12 months before it was doomed to plunge into the abyss of death. Instead let's be happy with the New Year it gave birth to just before it vanished into eternal darkness. It's too early to say anything about 2018. We don't yet know how heavy it was or even if it's a boy or a girl, or one of the 300 million other sexes we've suddenly found ourselves with. What can we say that wouldn't risk an angry backlash on social media? Fuck all really.
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![Happy-New-Year-2018-Images-4.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZb5oc9vZ6nYL6sMH5SQ32T9AShuKPNbUiamwi1RRTTLo/Happy-New-Year-2018-Images-4.jpg)
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We should take this time to pause for a moment and consider what 2017 did for us. For the majority of people like me it's made us a year older and 365 days closer to our own inevitable extinction. Let's bask in the warm glow of this double achievement for a while, before we consider anything else. That's a year off the life sentence that life is, mark it on your calendar. If we hang on long enough, keep our heads down and do our time there's every chance we'll get out of life alive at the end of it. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic here but I think it's because the New Year brings out my soft fluffy side. I can guarantee that it'll be at least mid January before I start hating people and wishing them a painful death. Right now I'd be deliriously happy if they only suffered life altering injuries. I can't help it I must be getting soft.

Hard to believe but last night I spotted a minority walking home from a New Year party. I was so full of good spirits myself that I shouted out Happy New Year as I ran him down. I didn't even reverse back over his still twitching body. For all I know he may have died of exposure rather than major blunt force trauma. Now that's not like me at all. I generally like to see the terror in their eyes as I slowly walk towards them to finish them off. To be honest this has slightly worried me. I thought to myself: Fuck. What if this is permanent? Worse still what if this sudden drop in hatred is a chronic condition? Dismissing these symptoms now could lead to me becoming kind and inoffensive as the disease progresses. So I've made an appointment with my doctor to see if he can give me something for it. Angel dust isn't working anymore. My former best friend PCP has let me down when I most needed it.

I've either just had an epiphany or this is the crystal meth and crack cocaine talking, but I've had a sudden rush of insight. North Korea has been firing missiles at the Pacific ocean with ever increasing accuracy. Now let's put that into perspective here. That major feat is the equivalent of being capable of throwing a tennis ball at a barn door and hitting it at least 50% of the time from just over 4 feet (1.2 meters) away. Now that is scary in itself but I think it's all smoke and mirrors. The North Koreans aren't trying to develop ICBM's. In reality they are trying to create Godzilla by lobbing nuclear weapons into the Pacific randomly. We know from the movies that this always works. Before you know it there'll be a 150 meter (492 feet) reptile attacking Tokyo and then New York (for some reason it doesn't give a fuck about other cities that are closer and far more convenient). Which is something we can now all look forward to. You can take that as being another one of my predictions about 2018. 

Let's recap them: 2018 will be exactly a year long and last around 365 days during which there will be a strong possibility of Godzilla destroying at least 2 cities on opposite sides of the world. Those are numbers you cannot argue with. Unless you are a disturbed, mental, ill person with delusions and hallucinations. Fortunately we can fill that void, waiting for this inevitable outcome, with hating and killing one another. As we always have and always will, if I have anything to do with it. The time of peace on earth and good will to all men has passed once more now we can get back to what we enjoy most of all. Picking fights with weak, defenseless people who are unable to retaliate. Thank fuck for that.