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The roller coaster in my country is called a mountain in America. In Italy, they are called Russian mountains. It has always amazed me. I will surely read a little more about it someday. Only one thing is clear. In history, there remain meanings that cannot be undone. Linguistic memory will remain and endure all the crap that's going on right now. It's neither good nor bad. It's something that can't be stopped.



Russian roulette. It's very funny how we play it ourselves. Always. For as long as I can remember. From the classics of literature to the doom in the eyes of the common man. A game that cannot be won. Ever. Just a huge shot of adrenaline once again, if you're lucky, takes you to the next round. In which you're bound to lose, even if that bullet doesn't hit you. Pain can be airborne, obviously. We're just used to turning a blind eye to it. It's easier, yeah...

No.

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmanw3L3KTuc9ZagmTjCYcpPJhB9nnx9DWUJKtfaABjd4o/russian_roulette.jpg)

Justifying your actions by external factors is the biggest stupidity that is absorbed with your mother's milk.

>It's not who we are, it's how life is.

That was a very popular phrase in the gangster environment of my youth. It was a justification for any crime committed in those years. My childhood brain did not accept this savagery, but it absorbed it like a sponge. I was lucky, at a certain point in my life my brain was still sending out distress signals. Regardless of the amount of firewater I drank and listened to sweet siren songs over the years. There was always a feeling that something was going wrong. Something is not right in the scheme of things.

And it's not the outside world.

Yes, I've been lucky. And with my parents and my brother and eventually my environment. Maybe someone was leading me by the hand, or maybe I just won all those rounds of the game of Russian roulette. One way or another, I began to get rid of these protective robes and masks I'd been putting on my whole life. Three years ago. It was only three years ago, but it was like it was another life...

The roller coaster had gotten me from zero to a hundred in a couple of months. I was unstoppable. And I thought it would be like that forever. But this country can stop anybody...


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmeLy3aCmRiR9Vrhpt14NyncnnME5UZM4wBxBp5PFCnYia/the_roller_coaster_to_hell.jpg)

>Half the country is in jail, half the country is guarding them.

And that's the way it's always been. But again, I look for reasons outside when they're in me. Again...

In a couple of years of riding the Russian roller coaster, I'm almost back to where I started. No, I no longer eat everything this table of hypocrisy, lies, masks and indifference offers me. Thank goodness my entourage doesn't do that either. We are simply outnumbered in this field. Our revolvers have two or three cartridges, and the rest of us have one or none at all. But I don't play that roulette game anymore. It's more important to show someone that you can play other games. Or better yet, invent your own games. Win-Win was invented a long time ago...

>Fools and roads.

We don't remember who said that anymore. But it's hard to argue with that, even now.

And it's not about education. Maybe it's about culture? But I have read and am still reading all these classics. Many of them were also in the minority. They ended up in jail, exile, emigration... Or alco, drugs, Russian roulette...


It's not easy to live in general fucked upsets when you understand what's going on. Especially for creative people. For them, foremost.

Emigration will continue.

These slides will become unsafe. But what difference does it make if you get on that wagon unfastened with a bottle of vodka in one hand and a revolver with a full drum in the other? At the end of the road, beyond that line, you have at least a 1% chance out of 100. Here, you just don't stand a chance...


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