7 Steps To Writing The Ultimate Shitpost on Steemit
shitpost·@stellabelle·
0.000 HBD7 Steps To Writing The Ultimate Shitpost on Steemit
The following post was inspired by @goldenarms, so upvote his funny post if you feel it. His is more vulgar than mine, but it's still fucking hilarious: https://steemit.com/steemit/@goldenarms/how-to-get-noticed-on-steemit-6-rules-to-find-success  # <center>Use Shitty Photos</center> Don’t enhance your images or crop them. Make sure your subject is the most boring possible. Don't use a flash. Don’t pay attention to tone, contrast, color or any other visual element. Make sure and choose the most generic, poorly composed photos possible.  # <center>Write in a Super Bland, Fake Voice</center> Pretend to care about things while being overrun by a senseless void inside. Make your writing style so generic that people will not even be sure a human is writing it. Bots are in! You might as well sound like one, too!  # <center>Don’t Format Your Post</center> Don’t use bolding, spacing or paragraphs. Just use one giant run-on sentence without any headers, titles, spacing, bolding, italics, or any other differentiating characters.  # <center>Write Only in Popular Tags</center> Write about topics that are already super-saturated in Steemit: life, photography and steemit. Don't start your own trending tags, just follow blindly like a sheep.  # <center>Find Successful Bloggers And Copy Their Style And Snatch Their Images From Instagram</center> This will hopefully generate a generic voice, which will subconsciously prompt whales to upvote these posts. Copying others' unique voices is the surest way to creating the ultimate shitpost. You might even snatch their photos from Instagram and try to pass them off as your own. Most Instagram celebs are not on Steemit yet, so you'll have a cool 3 months of pure stolen profit before cheetah and steemcleaners fry your ass. <center></center> # <center>Don’t Be Original</center> Don’t tax your brain with thinking of new ideas. Shut your brain off to creative ideas and just copy what’s popular already. Make sure and recycle the click-bait garbage which can luckily be found anywhere on the interwebs. Use formulas and "sales funnel" thinking as much as possible. Follow mindless gurus to learn more "proven" tricks. <center></center> # <center>Write Overly Drippy and Sentimental Poetry</center> Make sure and dredge up that poetry you hid under your bed when you were in 8th grade. Post it on Steemit! Make it as drippy as possible, and infuse it with horrible overused cliches like "red like roses" "her eyes were like a lapis lazuli sky".....Make it as nauseating as possible.... **Extra:** *Send the link of your shitpost to a whale as soon as you’re finished writing it.* **Extra:** *Write your post on busy.org, but forget to use the tag, “busy”.* **Extra:** *Send 10 SBD to a whale's upvote bot and receive $1.05 total payout.*  Talk to my Facebook Messenger chatbot if you're confused that this post could be filled with real tips: https://chatfuel.com/bot/youtubestellabelle
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