How about a boa constrictor? Needs very little care. Only gets VERY hungry once in a weekend.
<sup> We recommend open terrariums in view of the Animal Right to Open Sky and Clean Air Act 1971. (Ahhh... I think we have another excuse there, for you not to take a pet.)  </sup> 
Ever thought of a [Homie](http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.91.6949&rep=rep1&type=pdf)?
![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmafQWDKoLaHNaKFMWfB2RR5FvSidL7Y5wQShts9PDZmav/image.png)