The Adoption Process: Instead of This, Say This...
steemiteducation·@sweetpea·
0.000 HBDThe Adoption Process: Instead of This, Say This...
<html> <p>As a young adult I thought I was invincible. I wanted to be a mother but not once did I ever consider that I would not be able to conceive a child. Fast forward to about 6 years later, after trying everything to fall pregnant, I became a mom through adoption. I love how I became a mom, adoption was my destiny and I really wouldn't have it any other way. There are trying times though. Firstly, I have to raise my son so that he never feels rejected or out of place, secondly (and to get number one right), I have to encourage those around me to tread lightly, which means, I need to encourage my fellow comrades to use the correct adoption terminology, so that harsh and unnecessary words never sound through my child's ears.</p> <p><center><img src="https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2017/04/03/16/newbornbaby-parent.jpg" width="2048" height="1363"/></center></p> <p><center><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/newborn-baby-girl-dies-mother-asleep-feeding-daventry-coroner-warning-parents-sat-bed-a7681941.html">Image Source</a></center></p> <p><strong>In my mission to educate individuals about adoption, I have created a list of things you should say when conversing with an adoptee or adoptive parent. Allow me to share them with you.</strong></p> <h2><strong>1. The Adoption Process.</strong></h2> <p>While we all mean well, implied messages could leave children feeling unwanted or rejected, or they could blame themselves for their abandonment. </p> <p><strong>Instead of using the words:</strong> give up, abandon, leave, give away, didn't want to keep -</p> <p><strong>Say this:</strong> make an adoption plan, placed for adoption.</p> <h2>2. Referring To Family Members.</h2> <p>Using the incorrect words could leave family members feeling unnatural or like outcasts.</p> <p><strong>Instead of saying things like: </strong>"real" or "natural" mother, father, sibling etc.</p> <p><strong>Say this: </strong>"birth parents" or "first parents"</p> <h2>3. When Adoption Takes Place</h2> <p>Many refer to adoption using older terminology when referring to and adoption.</p> <p><strong>Instead of saying phrases from bygone eras like: </strong>"put up" for adoption -</p> <p><strong>Say this:</strong> make and adoption plan or place for adoption.</p> <h2>4. The Child</h2> <p>Adoption is a process where a child is adopted into another family. Once the process is completed, it is in the past. The child WAS adopted, and not continuously being adopted. </p> <p><strong>Avoid using these terms:</strong> child who is adopted, adopted child</p> <p><strong>Say this:</strong> child who "was adopted"</p> <h2>5. When Intending to Compliment</h2> <p>When a child is adopted, the adoptive parents become the lucky, blessed and grateful ones. The adoptive parents should never be glorified, since children might feel like it takes someone special to love them.</p> <p><strong>Avoid saying things like:</strong> "it's wonderful that you adopted", "she is lucky to have you", "you are good people, I couldn't raise someone else's child", "she's much better off with you".</p> <p><strong>Say this: </strong>"I see how much love you have for each other", "I am happy for you and your family".</p> <p><em><strong>There are of course many things that should and shouldn't be said, I have simply narrowed them down to a few that come to mind, or have affected my family directly. This shouldn't scare you away from adoptive families, adoption is a beautiful thing and should be embraced, acknowledged and discussed - it is nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my mind with you.</strong></em></p> <h1><center>Much love - @sweetpea</center></h1> <p><center><em>(bringing you original content)</em></center></p> </html>
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