One day, I am going to take my wife on a holiday somewhere nice and relaxing as I think considering the last few years, we have earned it. Of course, that is going to depend on the markets a lot as currently in the 'real world' things are a little tight. 

I took the car to have new break pads put on but unfortunately, the disks were gone also so it totalled 300 euros instead of the 100 I had expected. It is funny how often the 'unexpected' happens, isn't it? Of course, the unexpected can run in the positive too but it always seems that the negative streaks are a bit longer. It is what it is though and everyone handles their situations the best they can.

https://i.imgur.com/jXlW1fQ.jpg

As I drove home I was remembering several times in my life where I sat in the dimness wondering just what I would do to make it through whatever the hardship was at the time. Most were financial but, not all. What I have discovered is that the best action for me is to suck it up and get to work as at least in my experience, dwelling on the misery doesn't help and waiting for better conditions is a fool's game.

Conditions will never be perfect so do what you can, while you can even if what you are able is only a fraction of a step toward where you want to be as all of those fractions add up. There have been a few times in the last 2 years where I have sat alone wondering what I will do. For me, it is better to do those things alone as it gives me the space to break myself done without the pressure of another's eyes upon me.

Writing helps too as for the most part, it is a similar process to sitting in that dimness except, I have the power to apply the pressure and in a psychologically safe space, I am relatively willing to explore places I wouldn't go if the pressure was real. 

There is a time and a place to think some things and when one is under a lot of stress, that is not the time to start developing oneself, it is the time to act. If the prep work had already been done, there would likely be a lot less stress anyway. Those times in the past where I have had to contemplate survival for myself and others were mostly because I hadn't prepared well for the unexpected. I am a slow learner with some things. 

But, if my prep goes well this time, I will be able to take my wife and daughter away to somewhere we can just hangout a little together and be a family without the other pressures of life imposing. This is a luxury that many in this world may never have the opportunity to have and I am grateful I do, or at least will have in time. 

I remember taking this picture. It is from our first trip away together in 2012 where we spent 4 nights in Barcelona. It was a warm night and we had tapas in a restaurant just off Plaça de Catalunya on La Rambla. She was so happy those days, I wonder if her smile will ever be the same. 

Taraz
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