A safe word for my wife

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·@tarazkp·
0.000 HBD
A safe word for my wife
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I was asked about the bushfires in Australia by a new client today, and this led into a discussion about what we would grab if our own homes went up in flames, assuming that the family and pets are already safe. This is actually more interesting than many might think as what the thought experiment actually investigates is what has value. 

https://i.imgur.com/OOOI9HS.jpg

In this kind of situation we will likely look at what can't be easily replaced and what that means is, what has a high degree of scarcity and often, this has sentimental value. When the question was posed in the not so distant past, many people would say things like their "wedding photos" but, that has become far less relevant to most people these days as they carry them in their phone and on cloud servers.

>What would you grab given a couple minutes at best to leave your home?

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This question also raises some other things to consider, as while we spend a great deal of [time, energy and money](https://steemit.com/hive-174578/@tarazkp/changing-hue-for-a-better-life) making our home nice, on the way out the door, we really don't value those things at all. The hours spent searching for the perfect couch are irrelevant in pressure situations, the sunk costs forgotten. 

While the client and I talked together, I thought that just about the only things I would want would be my digital assets, my passwords. This sets up a problem because while I don't necessarily need them, for most things, my wife will not be able to work out what to do at all and, even if she could, they are encrypted and she will likely not have memorized the necessary components. 

In the advent of my death, eventually my cloud storage runs out of money to keep it open and my pictures are gone and anything else of value there. I haven't investigated this thoroughly yet, but there *should* be "in the advent of death" solutions available for family members that do not require a lawyer to oversee.  Maybe a *blockchain for the dead,* where people can opt in to store encrypted information that can only be released by certain people with various checks and security measures for verification of identity and well, the [death itself.](https://steemit.com/death/@howo/howtoplanforyourdeathwithcode-19lcs5fksc) 

My wife isn't overly technical nor is she security conscious, so there has to be easy and foolproof (I am not calling her a fool - but if the shoe fits ;D) way to at least get access to basic information that can lead to more advanced information. I guess what my wife and I need is, *a safe word.*

Now, this obviously can't be just a safe word like in the bedroom that could be waterboarded out of us, so it has to be compartmentalized to some degree, or accept the risk of torture. Potentially, if someone is going to torture any of us for some keys, we are already in a situation we are screwed anyway. I still assume that it is safer than carrying around gold bars in our pockets, or a map to buried treasure. 

Obviously, this isn't well thought out, but it is getting increasingly more important that our digital lives are protected after our physical death, or in times of conflict. If we family need to run for some reason with nothing more than the clothes on our back, I want to make sure that no matter where we are, we have more resources than what we carry with us. 

I believe that the greater the uncertainty and volatility in the world due to economic and political unrest, the more vital personal wealth assurance becomes. This is more of a challenge than many may think as most of us have come to rely on third-party insurance for everything of value in our lives and even storing things digitally in a cloud requires access to the service, something that can be revoked at any time. 

But, for the situation of a *house burning down,* I do not have to consider war or being tortured, I just have to make sure that everything I need is available despite losing everything else. Passwords, encrypted documents and everything I need to get access to or contact information for everything of importance. 

We have to know what has value enough to grab before our home is burning down and the best situation of all is that being, *nothing at all.* Ultimately, the safest position is being able to have fire engulf it all and know that regardless of all the loss, nothing of *true value* was taken. Once the safety of the family and dog is confirmed, the material can be considered and there is very little in life that money can't buy, *that money can't buy again.*

I have heard many stories in my life of people bravely dying fighting fires to save their home, without the recognition that what they are actually saving is a house. As they say, the *home is where the heart is,* and that heart beats inside us, not between four walls and a roof. 

For me, I play with fire often in a mental game I call [Psychological Pyromania](https://steemit.com/psychology/@tarazkp/psychological-pyromaniac) where I think about and mentally and emotionally try to prepare for the worst eventualities. When one has already accepted the loss of everything held dear, recovering from loss can begin faster and therefore, the rebuilding can happen earlier. I have found that the preparation isn't easy to do as my mind searches for comfort and doesn't like being forced to think about loss, but the process is valuable.

The greatest benefit of considering the loss of everything considered valuable is, *being grateful for what one has.*

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

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