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I spent an hour with a physio today to see if my shoulder is healing from the fall down the stairs before Christmas. I hadn't been earlier, choosing to tough it out and do my own rehab, but was getting worried that it is still sore, about six weeks later. Nevertheless, the physio checked a few things, tested a few movements and said that I didn't have to worry about getting [frozen shoulder,](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/frozen-shoulder/symptoms-causes/syc-20372684) as long as I kept moving it and rehabbing. Apparently, I have done a pretty good job of it so far, though she added one more static exercise to my set using a light rubber band. 

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/244A6yrGiiTSSZd79wqmDufHLSUAxSsHjfevEiwSfGAVfPzTRtvpq9Fg8nxqRCxiZ1hSD.png)

> I am getting old.

You know, it is a "funny" thing to be closer to 50 than 40 now, but still feeling like I should *feel okay.* I mean sure, I probably should feel okay as 45 isn't super old these days, but after what my body has gone through in life, it is amazing I can move at all. Yet, it is also "sad" to recognise the degradation, the lack of mobility in joints, and the stretches are not quite as stretchy as there were even a few short years ago. But our memories don't work so well at keeping track of time and when we get that physical feedback from the world of the change, it feels like it has happened suddenly. 

> When did I get old?

I have been telling my wife for years how quickly the degradation happens after 40 and she didn't really believe me, until she experienced it for herself. Everything becomes harder to do, while the body gets softer. And while some will say it is "in the head", there are actually biological things that happen around that age that speeds up the aging process. Perhaps it is possible to slow it down, or start from a higher baseline, but getting old happens to us all.   

But, I don't think we should give into old age, as if there is nothing that can be done and we are just going to feel increasingly bad physically, mentally and emotionally. Because, I think there is value to *try to improve* even if it doesn't actually make that much difference. Eating well, exercising consistently, and working on being more mentally alert and emotionally stable, can bring higher quality of life. It can also improve daily life and relationships.

It doesn't have to be over the top, gym junkie activity. Just intentional and consistent effort is enough. I find it also useful to *do your own research* in terms of what might work or what might not, depending on my own individual condition, needs and wants. Spending a bit of time learning how to rehab a shoulder for example, gives a bit of extra sunk cost in actually doing it. 

> Not everything can be bought.

I think one of the problems with having an on-demand consumer society, is we are accustomed to getting what we want fast, and not actually having to do anything for it. Look at all the people who said "big is beautiful" for all those years, but as soon as there is a pill on the market they can take to lose weight, *they pay for it.* We seem less capable of committing to doing something ourselves, and it doesn't even have to be that hard in order for us to find a way to avoid it. There is a good or service for just about everything these days that make our lives easier, save us time and effort, yet we don't do anything more valuable with that extra time and effort, just waste it in front of a screen.

For the last week or so, I have been more careful with my diet and I have been feeling better for it. I have also been consistently going to the gym, and I am feeling that in my body too. For someone of my age, I am in "okay" shape compared to the average perhaps, but it really isn't good enough compared to where I *should be* according to my *opinion.* And when it comes to myself, my opinion matters. 

> Getting old sucks. 

But from the moment we are conceived, we are given a death sentence. What happens to us along the way and the choices we make are going to impact on the quality of life we have. And yes, while a lot is out of our control, taking the reins and making intentional decisions for ourselves, improves our experience, even if it doesn't improve our results. 

> At least, this is what I feel for myself.

Maybe you are different, maybe people in general don't like taking control of their own actions, because it also means taking responsibility for the consequences. If we buy a solution or pay someone to do it for us, we have someone to blame. Maybe that is something that has changed from the past, because in the past, money counted as investing ourselves, but now, money is spent so we *don't have to invest ourselves.* I will have to reflect on that a bit more. 

Anyway, the physio said that it might take a few more months of rehab to get it into a decent condition, and it might take a bit more before the pain stops altogether, but she was confident that I will make a full recovery. Well, as full as someone my age can. 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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