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My tank is still pretty empty and will be for a few days more, but that doesn't mean that life just stops, nor work. I also have a pretty bad pain in my neck and headache, which these days worries me more than it did earlier, because it reminds me a little of having the stroke. Getting old sucks - and I am not even *that old* yet. 

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23vrnHRiVoTz9kWFNJqcnDTvJc9uZ9nuBc9UHcJxp5R1wnQYUt7CL1DRqgzpKubGJnvWz.png)

Today is payday, but unfortunately due to various things going on, there will be more going out than coming in, at least until I get paid by the company that owes me a few months of invoicing. Regardless of whether the company is earning or not, there are still overheads to cover and it is getting a bit tighter than I would like. While we could be nuked at anytime by a wayward Russian missile, I will assume that even then, taxes will still need to be paid. 

As I have said before, one of my biggest "stressors" is not having enough money, or even the thought of not having it. I think it is some PTSD from the very lean years and then, the leanest of them all that arrived in the couple years after the birth of our daughter. This is *very likely* a big part of the reason that I work so much, even if the work doesn't bring in much. In the past, a few dollars here and there would have made quite the difference in my life, but instead, with very limited earning potential, it was a struggle. 

That struggle was also largely silent, where even the people closest to me didn't know how much financial stress I was under, because I was far too embarrassed to speak about it. My friends at the time always had the fallback position of their parents who would help them out from time to time, but I didn't have a safety net of any kind. But, because it is *unacceptable to talk about money,* I kept my mouth shut and suffered in silence. Opening my mouth and sharing wouldn't have changed my situation much at a practical level, but I think it would have helped me negotiate the challenge and could have led to some insights through reflection and the experience of others that would have helped me get on track faster. 

The blackholes of discourse around taboo topics like politics, religion, sex and money are one of the reasons that there are so many issues in the world. Yes, now people are talking "publicly" about some of these things, but it has all become polarized and politically charged. What needs to happen is more conversation at the local level, with friends and acquaintances, where there is a close relationship between the discussion and daily life. 

The global narrative discussions are far less useful than many believe, because not only are they polarized, but there is a distancing between the discussion forum and the impact it has on daily life. Because of this, most of the interaction is consumptive and passive, with no need for action to feel like something is being done. As a result, people move from one topic to another, feeling like they are making a difference, when what they are actually doing is equivalent to watching a documentary on cutting down pollution, then switching channels when bored. Knowing isn't doing, and if nothing is done, it doesn't matter what you know. 

I think that if a group of friends could be honest with each other and put down the petty competitiveness, if they spend some time together talking about finance, they would get far better results than trying to go it alone. Of course, there are people who do this now and do well from it, but that is generally at the institutional level. 

I do think this is happening more though through crypto, where there is an opening of the conversation around personal finance and the transparency in the systems to see it in action. Plus, we have places like Hive and Leo Finance that are gathering and incentivizing the conversation further, bringing in voices from all over the world, with a wide range of experience to discuss, collect and refine processes. A lot of people sit on the sidelines or only take part in order to get a short-term gain from a vote - but the potential is there and it is being realized more and more. 

Fear is probably the single biggest influence in our lives, as it keeps us running away from the discussions we need to have. I feared destitution, but for a long time, I didn't fear it as much as talking to people about the problems I was facing. Once I started on Hive and then exploring the world of content creation, I started to learn that there is value in opening up and starting the conversations, for me and for others and as I have continued doing so, it has helped in many ways. 

Society is designed to benefit the few and the most efficient way to control the masses, is through a divide and conquer strategy. The division is made by controlling the narrative and while we can see the polarization, what is harder to recognize is how much of the conversation *is not being had* because we are not comfortable having it. But, if we really want a decentralized economy where we own and control our direction, we have to get comfortable opening ourselves up to take part in the discussion, rather than stay silent, with our voice drawn into the blackhole of control. The first step is to learn what we need to know, but then we have to build the skills to turn it into something of practical value, and skill-building comes through practice. 

Talk all you want, but don't leave the hands silent.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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Posted Using [LeoFinance <sup>Beta</sup>](https://leofinance.io/@tarazkp/blackhole-narrative)