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Homeward bound and glad for it, as I am worn out. The event was a success and now about 40 of us are on the same flight back to Finland, with most including me taking a bus from the airport and won’t get home until 2am. Hopefully I can sleep in, but I am assuming not, as Smallsteps is excited about my arrival.


![IMG_20230122_130113.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23wqnanJt7EUR8SE6VmpCh5jpj36EiNZgzXxLENxb2mmPdSxTfVkVhhdswDN3NzNtJjfg.jpg)


I am writing this from my phone on the plane and will post it when I have landed, hopefully before the blockchain clock ticks over to a new day. I would hate to end my posting streak because of work.

I sometimes wonder what would be the reason the steak ends. Most likely, it would be something mundane, like having a nap and accidentally sleeping through instead. No big event, nothing exciting, nothing worth mentioning in the grand scheme of things, but streak-breaking nonetheless. I wonder how it will feel.

I was talking a fair bit to a couple colleagues I have barely interacted with earlier and with one from the People and Culture team, we were talking about personality profiles and teamwork. Generally, teams are made up of a range of personalities (we have a tool we can compare some information on a quadrant based on a test), but interestingly, nearly all leaders test results are from the same region.

While the individual styles differ in the way they communicate and behave, there are also a lot of overlapping attributes. This could imply a couple of things including a bias in who gets employed or promoted for leadership roles, but based on the global spread and when they were hired, it is probably more down to the roles being suited to certain types of behavior. I appear square in the middle if that group too, though I am not a leader in any way, shape or form, though I guess I do influence people’s opinions and activity.

In previous psychological tests, I have scored more along *creative and visionary* lines, though I wonder if I were to take similar tests again, would they show the same results, since I don’t even have an imagination powerful enough to create images automatically. This definitely affects my ability to do a lot of the leader work, or at least the kind of work that the current set of leaders are doing.

>Would there be something else for me?

I am not sure. My inability to speak as coherently as I should and on the fly, would reduce the ability to engage well enough with audiences and limit effectiveness to influence others, which is obviously necessary. I am not interested in controlling others, but alignment of activity is necessary to develop at larger scales, as is the need for getting approval and funding for development. The more influential, the faster the process goes.

This year, I think I will look to rebuild professional skills, as while they will never be what they were, perhaps there are other opportunities that have sk far laid unexplored, or dormant. I have relied so heavily on certain traits throughout my life that maybe there are potential strength areas that haven’t been exercised and stretched. I am a loss at this point as to what they may be, but I assume we all have them, but the influences of our own lives have aligned actions and created the habits to reinforce behavior into what we assume is the way we are, whether that be in strength or weakness.

The company I work for has some very good people working in it as well as a willingness to grow employees internally and along career paths. I am thinking that I might seek out a mentor to discuss and support a growth plan, and maybe advocate for me in the future. It might not lead anywhere, but it also might. At the least, it will give a different perspective on work-life experience.

There is about an hour and a half left in the flight, but no one ever knows how long is left in the journey. 


Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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