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> Everyone who says they are happy...

- Being single
- Being obese
- Being poor
- ... the list goes on

I wonder...

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![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23uQLzxJCYSP9qDThfxiaVKNMBaAheEcs2VmcUaWt375Q6kgZ9gb6yywBetWPwVvKNFuX.png)

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> If they could snap their fingers and be

- In a loving relationship
- A healthy weight
- Wealthy

Would they?

I have been considering this over the last few days where people have said that they are happy being alone, or feel better talking to AI because it is easier than the complexities of human interaction. But, if they could click their fingers and have an ideal relationship, where they can love fully and be loved - would they turn it down in favour of single life? And if they would click their fingers and take the loving relationship, why are they saying they are happy staying single, and not trying Isn't it then just fear holding them back from making the attempt for *better?*

> Happy in Fear?

It sounds more like their happiness is resignation to settle for what they don't have, because it is too scary, or too hard to go after what they would actually prefer. And yeah, I get that it is entirely possible to be happy with far less than the ideal and there never is a perfect, but to *not even try* for better, is that happiness in any form at all?

And it is interesting to "avoid relationships" when it is *impossible* to avoid relationships. Unless dead. And I mean this quite literally, because we are in relationships with more people than a partner. We are in a relationship with our parents, colleagues and friends. With the person at the store who helps us find the single pack of cheese. With our phones, and money, ideas and expectations. Our past, our future, and whatever we are feeling right at this moment. 

> Our entire sense of being is connected through relationships. 


- Being single
- Being obese
- Being poor

Our relationship with people, our history, and our parents. 
Our relationship with food, our body, and exercise.
Our relationship with money, society, and our desires. 

This is a massive simplification, because there are many, many more relationships that have impacted on the way we think, feel, and act toward other relationships we currently have, and will have in the future too. Which means, if we don't have healthy relationships in our life, and across all the different domains of relationships, whether with people, food, materials, tools, ideas and beliefs - it means we are going to behave in response to *toxic relationships.*

> Yeah... I said it.

But these toxic relationships aren't of the kind that Gen-Z describes, where they *believe* they are constantly being harmed by others, though are definitely related. The source of these toxic relationships are the self and persist due an unwillingness to take responsibility for the way we think and feel about things, and *change our own behaviours. 

> We aren't even brave enough to try.

All of these relationships are connected, because we are the centre of them, the hub created through our processing of our experience, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, to create expectations and ideals about the way things are, or should be, or could be. Relationships aren't reality in the sense they exist to the touch, but they impact on everything we do and while sometimes dormant, other times they can rear their ugly head, and make us act badly.

> But we protect ourselves through justification of our actions. 

Instead of dealing with our own shit, we project it into our external world, so then we have targets to blame for our experience. Which is exactly what Gen-Z does by seeing everything ass some kind of micro-aggression, or micro-stressor - instead of learning how to deal with their own emotions to be able to handle what lays outside of their expectations and desires. 

Many might disagree with me on this. That is fine. If they stopped for long enough and actually thought about it all, they might come to a similar conclusion that I have. But few will stop for long enough to build a healthy relationship with themselves, where they can admit to being a source of toxicity in their own lives. 

> But of they could click their fingers and have healthy relationships...

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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