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This is one of my favourite pictures of Smallsteps from when she was a toddler. I remember taking the pictures that day in our bedroom, because there was a clear white wall, but not too much space between the bed, so it was hard to get a full image at a nice angle. We took lots of photos there, and we took lots more photos back then - and I miss taking them. 

> Unfortunately, no one wants to pose for me these days. 

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23wMyt5xPCEb2UV56vviZt2GuBEcCSEgMqeAzBEXEE5Le3Hh8mgEXXDaBwHTp1jL5fpAp.png)

> I get it - I am rarely in pictures myself.

The difference is of course, that thankfully my daughter got enough of my wife in her genes and they are both beautiful, but I on the other hand am far less so. Smallsteps looks like me, but for anyone casually seeing us on the street, they aren't likely to put two and two together and figure we are related - so it is going to get very awkward in the future when we continue doing our daddy-daughter coffee trips, and she is in her teens. 

Today we were talking about getting her a phone for when she starts school, as it is a hike and she is going to have to be in various different places and is going to have to be able to check schedules on the fly, as well as contact people to visit them and what not. When I was a kid, it wasn't necessary to have a phone, but times have changed. However, there are going to be *rules.*

> My daughter hates how many rules I have.

For instance, on her phone there will be no games. This might relax at some point, but not to begin with and when it does relax, the games will be things like word games she can play with me. The other thing is, there will be zero social media applications, except Whatsapp - and we will have control of her contacts list. My wife is far looser with this, but she also uses various social medias herself - and it eats up far more time than she realises. For kids, it is absolutely horrible - not because of the time it eats, but the conditioning it promotes. 

A lot of parents who are giving young kids phones today think that it is okay because they themselves use a phone and it isn't a "problem" as they see it. However, most adults with children today didn't have a childhood with a smartphone in their hands, and we are seeing what it is doing to those who did - with a whole range of behaviours that are creating barriers to a good life, including their attention span. 

> Pay attention to the little things, isn't the same as only able to pay attention for a short amount of time.

Even adults are affected by this, with a shortening attention span and increasing anxiety when having to be alone with thoughts. So, how is that meant to be good for children? What is interesting is that like smoking a few decades ago, we know it is bad, yet we keep promoting it because there is money to be made on it. It doesn't matter how negative the impacts are on individuals and society, if there is a buck to be made, then it is acceptable to sell.

There is so little good that is being delivered by the commonly used internet these days, despite the internet having all information possible available. Availability and utilisation are very different things, and most of us (yes me included too often) aren't using our available resources well. So if adults are struggling, how the hell are kids meant to learn to use their resources well, when the *easiest thing to do* is to not?

> The habit formation is for a worse us, not a better us. 

My daughter has had a pretty good life so far in my opinion, and while there are rules, there is also a lot of freedom and trust. Rules allow for that. And, when it comes to some rules, it is okay to have "non-negotiables" like no social media. It doesn't matter if all the other kids have it, kids aren't *experienced* enough to know what is good for them all of the time. If a child can't be trusted to choose to eat a healthy diet when there is unhealthy food to choose from, what makes parents think that they are fit to make a decision on what is suitable to be exposed to and interact with for their mental and emotional development?

> There are a lot of fat kids these days.
There are also a lot of stupid kids. 

Kids have always been stupid, haven't they? What I mean here is of course *inexperienced.* But when kids are largely being raised by algorithms and pixels, what kind of experience are they getting that will help them interact with and be content in the real world? Perhaps that's the plan though, isn't it? They aren't going to interact with the real world, they are going to be enslaved in the digital world instead.

It has been about six years since that picture was taken and my daughter still plays dress-up and makes homes for her stuffed toys. She is a kid, with a rich imagination and a healthy appetite for play. Yet, she can also be trusted to get a healthy snack and do her homework when she comes home from school, even if she is alone. She has experience playing as a kid, and she has the experience of rules and responsibilities at a kid level too. These are formative times, and both are required for a balance life in the future, because even if she does exactly what she wants, she will be setting her own rules and responsibilities as well. 

I see a lot of the screen distractions as avoidance of the experiences that are important for "well-rounded" humans. It happens at the adult level, and we are teaching kids in their formative stages so they never even have the chance to experience and learn the skills that will matter to them later in life. And by then, later is likely, *too late.* 

There are times for children to explore, and there are times that parents set the limits. Defaulting to what everyone else is doing, ends up getting the same results as everyone else. And just like the quality of goods and services, *mediocre isn't what it used to be.*

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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