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Rough seas out there?

>That's okay - just *go with the flow.*

At least, that is what I tell myself. 

:)

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23tSKxFrVchB4bCbmHRhPmukDgntcc7zVSvphSTTaqULVA4XkLBYw629wakm9yK11Sztw.jpg)

It is weird though, as I am surprisingly calm given the slide over the last 6 months and the eyewatering amount in dollar value what I hold has depreciated. However, *dollar value* is the operative term in that sentence, because, crypto-holdings are actually increasing still, and I am putting in trickles of fiat here and there near daily. This way, while the price keeps falling on my holdings, the mass keeps increasing. 

What that mass will become is either freedom from wage slavery for the rest of my life or, a shrunken pile of dream dust that got burned at the *stake.* I hope it is freedom of course, but I might be prepared either way.

I remember the first massive drop way back around this time in 2017, a few months after I got into blogging and in crypto. It felt pretty fucking bad to watch a few weeks of salary in dollar value stripped in a couple hours. Now, it is a few houses worth! :D But hey, them the breaks, eh?

>Perhaps it is the stroke. 

It could very well be that something in my brain has dampened my emotional response to this in some way, leaving me calmer than I earlier would have been. But, I think that in general, I was already pretty chill in these conditions anyway. And the reason probably is, that I have taking more the approach of *what the hell does it matter* at the end of the day.

I asked my wife the other day as to what she will "leave behind" if she was to pass right now and she didn't really have an answer that she was happy with. For me, other than a bit of crypto, at least for my daughter I have *tens of millions* of words worth of life content that she will be able to sift through and, I think she would find that overall, I have probably helped more than I have harmed. 

>I think that makes it an okay life, doesn't it? 

Can we rate our own life? *Probably not.* But, I think we all do in the way we live our time on this earth and while we likely have a pretty tinted view of it, we might all think that we are generally "good people". I suspect, that is not the case, like drug dealers and hitmen wearing a cross around their neck and going to church on Sundays. 

*Yeah, I could be worse.*

As much as I want to make a positive difference in this world, at the end of it, everyone dies the same and while that seems depressing to many, it is empowering for me. After all the near-death experiences I have had in my life, I am on borrowed time anyway and since nothing matters, then I can play the game I choose to play. Some people think that means it has to be purely self-serving, but that is not the case.

When I used to game a million years ago, there would be people who would aimbot and wallhack, running around the maps "owning" the server by using cheat programs. While it was annoying, I always wondered what the point was, where was the satisfaction - they didn't create anything, it took no skill and they knew that they were cheating - it seems a complete waste of time. Perhaps "time-wasting" was their life goal.

>Do you have a life goal?

I think I do, though it is pretty loose and without formal process. But, I do have an unfortunate sense of obligation to this world, which is strange since I didn't choose to be in it. However, what this means is that I want to leave it slightly better for me having been in it - and while I am nowhere near as impactful as many, my goal isn't about maximization of good - it is about being on the positive side of the balance sheet at the end.

crypto participation actually works in well with this, because I do think that it is *for once,* a positive development for humanity and society, as it has the potential to improve the economic lives of many, as well as reduce the impact of the harm inflicted by centralized control. It isn't going to happen in leaps and bounds, it is more going to be through incremental change and adoption, so the major "good" is likely going to be beyond the years I will walk this world.

But, that is okay, because once dead, it won't matter to me, but whilst living, I like participating in something that I think is worth something after I pass. It isn't mine of course, but it is ours and one day, all of the crap we are going through in these years, will lead us to more potential and opportunity for those to follow - even if they don't know it. 

*Going with the flow* isn't about letting the current take you without control, it is about finding one's feet in this world and riding that wave. Too many times these days I find myself hearing people who have resigned themselves to their lot, that they have no control over their own actions, let alone their future outcomes. Perhaps they don't,

>But what a uninspiring way to live.

Come what may - deal with it when it arrives.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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