![20181125_194340.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdvUEQwCNgotGkABx5DuDq3GqR11YxZprDL4pd4BUPx9A/20181125_194340.jpg)

Today was a Daddy / Daughter day and we decided to go into the city for a coffee which means I get coffee and cake, my daughter gets milk and some very plain snack. Her food was in the belly of the crocodile she carried. 

We sat down next to a mother and three children who were digging into chocolate muffins. When the mother looked at what I gave my daughter while I ate cake, she gave me very unpleasant look as if I am some kind of abusive parent enacting a cruel and unusual punishment. 

It is interesting how we judge each other as by default, we are unable to understand anyone else's background so we make assumptions, project our feelings into the situation and apply them as if justified upon our thoughts of others. The other thing that we seem to assume is that our opinion matters to the judged. 

Does our opinion matter to strangers? Does the judgement of a stranger carry weight with us? What do you think?

I tend to back myself in most things which means I have an eternal frame of reference. It is not that I don't listen to others but I am careful not to identify with their judgements and I am not concerned with meeting their expectations. If we spend too much time chasing the self-interested opinions of others, it is very easy to lose ourselves to their external frame of reference. Pleasing other people is an endless pursuit. 

Self-discovery is an endless pursuit too and in my story, one that holds much more worth than bowing to the whims of others. If we really are serious about being the best version of ourselves, it will never be through meeting the demands of others. 

I think this is one of the dangers of surrounding ourselves with like minds and skills too much, as it tends to encourage status quo, where the changes sought are narrowly focused on a very limited vision. Those who pick sides are often in this position as bundled with the good is also the bad, but group norms forces acceptance or ostracism. Conformity. 

Even those who believe they are nonconformists tend to conform to the habits of a narrower group thanthe mainstream, a clique of sorts. They often label and group themselves and use "I am" to define their behaviours, as if they can't change state. 

Often enough though, experience and conditions prove them wrong as when push comes to shove, their behaviours break line from their beliefs about who they are. Most justify it away rather than recognise the fallacy in their previous position.

Our experience is subjective and while one person is a victim, another in the exact same position thrives. I see Steem like this, especially now. While many suffer, others are welcoming the opportunity of changed conditions. This is the thing with change though, most want it but when it arrives, they don't want to be the ones to adjust. After all, the way they behave is flawless so, the change isn't theirs to make. 

Skill in adaptability is a sign of intelligence and everything is always in a state of flux, are you? 

Amit importantly for me, Am I? 

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
<sub>(posted from phone)</sub>