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I got some personal feedback from a colleague (who is also a friend) today, which kind of surprised me in a way. It is not that it was bad feedback, nor was it good, it was just more observational based on what they think might be a risk area. I think that the surprise is more in the way it was positioned, not about what the feedback actually was. They said that people might struggle with me because they are "intimidated" by me, where I am intelligent and well-spoken enough that they feel threatened - that they are *jealous.*

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23u5ZAopEoG4wHCdZrv1TqL6iVfBHVNgeHXBBnQxPYi8zLBCozC317kLAN4F31xWM64yn.png)

> Ha!

Why anyone would be jealous of me is *beyond me.* 
*Unless....* they aren't really paying attention. 

My friend assumes that people either get offended by me, or want to overpower me in some way, and this is probably true, in some contexts. However, when I am facilitating or in a coaching session, I am different than if I am talking with friends. With friends like the one today, I am able to be more confrontational and more opinionated, because of the type of friends I have. However, there is one thing that I am terrible with. 

> I am too transparent.

In my world, my value is being able to facilitate open discussions, and as a result, it takes building trust, which often requires vulnerability of some kind. But as I am also looking to make impact, the best way is to put cards on the table, to discuss issues openly, whether positives or negatives, and have a proper conversation around it. Yet, I also know that this lack of strategy means that the same information is going to end up getting used against me in some way at some point, or there will be a cost

> And it does. 

It happens in many different ways, but there is nearly always someone that will file information away to bring up at a later point, even if they *benefited* from having that information originally. But as I said to my friend, if I change my style and provide information like many others do, I am no longer going to enjoy my job. It becomes cold, calculating and cutthroat. That is not the kind of person I want to be, so instead, I will wear the costs. 

Ideally, being open and honest should be encouraged and rewarded, but we live in reality, not an ideal. The world and perhaps especially in the current era, is about maximization of the self, rather than the many. Information is a weapon, and comments are made to score points against another, even if it ends up costing both. The Twitter space is filled with point scoring for attention, even if no one ultimately cares. People talk about the one tweet that "went viral" as if because of it, their life changed somehow. But, look at what tweets get a lot of attention, and it is rarely anything of value - it is usually something that is either stupid and is spread for ridicule, or a snarky response that is spread because it supports a belief system. It would actually be interesting to discover how many of the shared tweets are actually beneficial to humanity, information that makes us better as a species.

> I suspect not many. 

I am not very optimistic for the future, and I think that many more are starting to recognize that just because it is the future, it doesn't mean it is going to be better than the past. It isn't hopeless of course, but things have to change quite radically in order for a pivot from the current path. 

I just did a quick search on what are the benefits of jealousy, and other than as a motivator to improve, it seems that the majority of value comes from it being an indicator of what a person might value, and can be used as a reflective tool to acknowledge desires, and guide next steps. However, I reckon there are better ways to discover these things than attempting to bring others down and belittle them. And, this is where most jealousy ends up - in unhealthy behaviors and feelings that lead to more negative thoughts.

My friend might be right, or they might be wrong in their assumptions of jealousy, but I did appreciate that they spent the effort in what could have been an uncomfortable conversation to bring it onto the table. There should be more discussions like this in the world, and we actually booked a monthly session for the future, so we can reflect off each other, and discuss openly, transparently, and not have t worry about the strategic outcomes, *or vectors of attack.* 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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