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While relaxing, the "spiked mat" that I have had for years doesn't do much for my muscles. It is nice to lay on, once the pain subsides, and then I feel calmer after (especially since I normally have a quick nap at the same time), but it just doesn't go deep enough. It just doesn't hit the spot.

> Ah... now I understand what my wife has been saying...

It was only a couple days ago that I ordered another, but it has already arrived, though it was only coming across the border from Sweden. And well, it promised to be able to go deep, and I think it is going to come good on that. Rather than the tiny little spikes of the old mat, these ones are about 1.5 centimetres high (half an inch) and much further apart. I only laid on it for about ten seconds so far, but it was pretty intense to the point I might have to wear a t-shirt to get used to it.

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23t7aYTZwgcAvn8P1K5jucGBXAZJxnLRoHXrwYAJnsMPYuidcZs8EYJupLCfRjasZF3G9.png)

# New ▲ Old ▼ 

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/48GEaVWAcJeW62tLcwc9Yv3vwcemRZwTXdR3ybCNHeM13fdg9kgGZ68m3zb5yChhbW.png)

I am hoping that with regular use, it will get into the muscles on my back and break apart some of the knots. The cost of the mat was expensive for a piece of plastic, but it is only slightly more than an hour massage in Finland, and I would go for a massage daily if I could - but under current conditions, I haven't been for a massage in about six months or more, and even then, it was about once a quarter. 

One of the many weird things after a stroke is that posture can get worse due to muscle paralysis and atrophy. I don't have too much paralysis that is visual other than around the left corner of my mouth, but there are likely other unseen muscles that are affected, because I feel it in my hands, neck and other areas. Bad posture doesn't help back aches, but it is also very hard to build paralysed muscles much at all, let alone to be able to counter the strength of functioning muscles. This means that I am all a bit out of alignment, all the time.

> I am far more uncoordinated and clumsy too. 

But loosening the muscles would be a step in the right direction of being able to rebalance myself, or at the very least, be a little more comfortable in my own skin - Literally. These days, I am never really physically comfortable and it feels a bit like wearing clothing a size too small. Even before the stroke, I can't remember the last time I wasn't "painfully aware" of my body, as I have been dealing with chronic illness since a teen. But after, it just somehow got more noticeable and weighs heavier on me for some reason. 

>I can tune it out by making my mind blank, but I can't live much life with a blank mind. 

Pain management is an interesting thing I reckon, because it is one of those areas where we can never really know what another person feels, or their pain tolerance. I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but there is no way to make a comparison, because everyone is going to be sensitive in their own way. For instance, my wife can't lay on the small spiked mat without a shirt on, even though she is much lighter than me, so it barely presses into her skin.

> But giving birth must have been far, far worse.

Pain tolerance however is something that can be developed, and I think that we *should* increase our pain tolerance in some way, especially now that we don't expose ourselves to as much activity that causes pain. In the past, all of what we did had the potential to hurt us, now we get hurt from not doing enough activity. Sedentary living, *is a killer.*

> And I am changing my physical lifestyle.

As I spoke about a few weeks ago, I was referred by the doctor to see a specialist surgeon about my legs, and she had a look and said that my Google skills were on point, and I will need surgery to correct the issue. It is going through the public side though, which means I have to wait until after the summer. It is day surgery though, and I am supposedly able to walk out of there, without crutches probably. And then, take it easy for a few weeks. 

> After that though?

The hope is I will be able to start walking faster than snails again, and then jogging and running not too far after. If things go well, I will be able to snowboard again next winter - something I have avoided for 15 years now, as the pain is so intense. I avoid walking with my family too - which saddens me. 

> They don't seem to mind.

Anyway - let's see if this bed of nails gets in in deep and makes a difference to my back to alleviate some of the pain. For anyone that has been using one of the normal spike mats, they might want to look into getting something that goes deeper too, so check out this Swedish one - which is conveniently called [Svenska Spikmattan.](https://spikemat.com/) I think you can work out what that means. 

Nailed it.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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