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When it comes to the mental impact of gain and loss, a rule of thumb is that a loss weighs twice as heavily as a gain, meaning that we are twice as risk averse as we are risk seeking. There are several ways we can extrapolate this in terms of the fear it creates or, the impact it has on our memory - but, that isn't really required for now. What is necessary to understand is, we *value* loss more than gain. 

That doesn't seem to make sense of course, as we are looking for wins, but we rank negative outcomes above positive, indicates that we place more importance on the negative, making it more valuable - perhaps in this case, more valuable to avoid. This makes sense of course as we generally do try to avoid negative outcomes as we almost invariably aim for success in what we look to accomplish. Yet, things go wrong.

https://i.imgur.com/SJzlZmN.jpg

The generally accepted process is that we learn from our mistakes, but what we might want to aim for is that we learn from the mistakes of others. In my experience however, secondhand learning isn't as valuable as firsthand experience, because there is one vital ingredient missing - *pain.*

We are hardwired through our nervous system to feel, dislike and then avoid pain, yet we have also evolved to handle and become accustomed to pain, to deal with it. I think that it is through the balance of these two sides of pain that we are able to increase our tolerance to and therefore resilience toward pain. Not only this, the pain becomes a powerful learning experience that sears itself into our memory more readily than pleasure. 

If you have ever used a hammer and accidentally pounded your thumb, you will know that you don't want to do that again, because it hurt. Without that pain response, you could very well pulverize your thumb unaware. You hear people talking about needing to live more "in the now" and pain is a fantastic way to create focus in the present moment! Suffering on the other hand is the psychological remembered or imagined pain. We all feel pain, but do we all need to suffer?

Anyway, as I started with the investment side of gain and loss, I will continue on from there in regard to pain and suffering. We hear about people who have *suffered the loss* of a loved one, but the way we look at our financial position using the same circuitry, meaning, if I lose 50€ (as if I have that much cash on me these days) from my pocket, I will have "suffered the loss" of that money, and it will feel bad - I will have some level of pain. 

I think about this sometimes when for example I have got caught speeding in my car from a traffic camera (which has hardly happened) and the flash fires. The reaction I have today is different to the reaction I had say, 15 years ago, because my general financial position has changed. While I am far from comfortable, 15 years ago I was struggling to get through the month with some food each day. The impact of the fine was far greater as I knew that it would heavily impact my coming experience. 

We could look at this as having *skin in the game,* because of what is relative to be lost. While 100€ might be very little to many people, to others at various stages in their lives, it could be highly significant. The relativity of the amount matters much more than the amount itself, in my opinion.

I think that this is why over the last few weeks where people had to *really* consider the life of their Steem position and investment, many suddenly became much more interested as the pain of loss weighed heavily enough to bring them into the moment. Accounts large and small reacted similarly, as they all had a sense of *skin in the game,* although the amounts might vary significantly. 

The thought of playing Russian roulette doesn't have the same impact as actually having the revolver held to the temple and the finger on the trigger. While no one is likely to die from the loss of Steem, the impact of having skin in the game is going to create various levels of pain for people and when in pain, many tend to react relatively poorly. Just think about how you conduct yourself the moment after stubbing your toe hard on the coffee table - the reaction of skin in the game.

And financial pains can have the same affect on us, impact our memories and change our behaviors. I think that the last few weeks have been painful for many, as not only is there the financial investment to consider, there is also the content and  social capital investments that many within the Steem community have built, nurtured and value, and the thought of losing it has woken people up and brought them into the moment to consider what it all means.  

There is a very old saying that actually indicates the subsequent pain after loss impact, *once bitten, twice shy,* meaning that once the pain has been felt, one will be twice as careful in the future. Again, this talks about the value of painful experiences, and I believe that we are far more influenced by our painful learning experiences than the feel good ones. I think a testament to this is that when people are asked about what has shaped them into the person they are today, they bring up hard times, not good times. 

We as the Steem community have collectively seen a lot of hard times, both on and off Steem. Rather than just investors who have had some level of disposable income available to risk, there are all kinds of people on Steem, spread all throughout the world. This creates a vast amount of potential learning through a distributed pain model, and of course, each of our behaviors are affected by our own pasts, and how we have learned from them.

Some people are victimized by their pasts, are bitter and use it as an excuse for their behavior. Others are empowered by the negative experiences, as while the experiences can be the similar, the lessons learned can be very different. Some learn to be stronger, others not. When it comes to what we take away as lessons from the pain we experience, the responsibility lays solely on the student. 

While the avoidance of pain might be very attractive, I wonder how much of value can only be learned through the experience of it. Some never learn, some never stop. 

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

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