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In March this year, the mega transport *Ever Given,* ran aground and caused shipping problems, with some estimates costing it at around 400 million dollars an hour in lost trade and of course the knock-on effects this had on shipping and deliveries globally. But that pales in comparison to the 300 billion debt and the knock on effects of the Chinese construction giant, *Evergrande.* This is going to have massive ramifications globally as it collapses. But - will there be a third *Ever?*

https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23zSSPVdnCrkw6Eb5VVirXgSER1QpJ8dUaYTne74x1rKyzwch5wjf4HBB5CNZ3D6JyZ5F.jpg

They say that *bad things come in threes,* and while this is more likely a confirmation bias that makes order out of chaos, it still carries some weight when a couple of large, negative things fall across our path. For me so far this year, there have been two major events, and I am hoping that there won't be a third -  though, there *always will be,* because that is how our mind works. But, what is the time line for these kinds of events anyway - is it a month, a year, a decade? How related do they have to be? 

I don't know, but we tend to have unit bias, so a year is a good amount of time for three bad personal events  to happen, a month paycheck cycle for three unusual costs to arise, a day for three minor issues to ruin it. A decade? A lot can happen in a decade... We tend to cherrypick our results of course and as negatives weight twice as heavy on us as positives, they are the easiest to find. But I wonder, if some people are just born unlucky and, *am I one of them?*

Like all things though, this is relative. For example, the average salary for a [developer or coder in India](https://moneymint.com/what-is-average-salary-in-india/) is supposedly around 190 US dollars a month. That is 165€, which is a nice meal for two at a decent restaurant that isn't too fancy, with a glass of wine each, in Finland. It is around 1/20th of the Finnish average salary. 

Now, this isn't about "bad things" per se, but things are relative. For example, when I had a stroke a few months ago, my hospital stay and treatment was around 200€ in total, including ultrasounds and an MRI - *and I have no health insurance.* If I was in the US and happened to be in the same predicament, what would it cost me? *Maybe my life I guess.* I haven't had a lot of luck with my health since I was a teen, but I *am lucky* that I have lived places where treatment is possible and reasonable, because taxes cover it. In the event of a zombie apocalypse when all services are gone however, I am not surviving - *I will be after your brains.* 

Lucky me? Sure, but that is cherrypicking too, and it is kind of like eating spicy food - *it is an acquired taste* and also, something that can be forgotten. I had some Thai noodles for dinner tonight and there was some fresh chili in there - *when did they become so hot?* Well, since coming to Finland, I haven't eaten so much hot food and the Indian genetics don't seem to carry immunity markers for spiciness. 

*Jenny might be from the block,* but I wonder if she had to go back there into the conditions she was living as a kid, would she be able to handle the heat? This is the same for most things, whether physical or mental, as our bodies and minds adjust to comfort very quickly, which is also why salary increases might change our standards of living, but they don't keep us motivated at work once we get accustomed to them - in typically two months. Once we have the "new normal" as the baseline, anything either side is going to be noticed, with the negatives only having to be a little negative to outshine a larger positive. 

A lot of us will compare our conditions to those of others, without recognizing that the comparison might be impossible, depending on how far apart other factors are. For example, I heard a story today where someone was commenting on an article mentioning how difficult it is for dark people in Finland to get jobs that match their qualifications and the author asked *among other things,* do they really need Finnish? The commenter said something like, "I am foreign, have lived in Finland for years and don't speak Finnish - and have had no trouble finding work". This is true - *but they are also white.* Having the other things in common, doesn't take into account the impact of the key difference factor the article was pointing toward. 

Is skin color "bad luck"? - I don't think so. But, I am also grateful to the way I was treated as a kid at school, because it taught me a lot about the behavior of people, conditioning, social fears and among many other valuable lessons, my own strengths, *and weaknesses.* People want to stop bullying in schools - but what about all the amazingly talented and valuable people in our society who were bullied as children? What if for them, being bullied was a *critical success factor* required to bring out their best, to realize their potential?

While "bad things come in threes" might be a confirmation bias, the origin story of overcoming a difficult childhood seems to be quite pervasive for those who have changed our world. Yes, bad experiences harm people too, but artificially engineering an environment that limits our ability to learn the spectrum of who we are and what we are capable of, is probably more harmful to the advancement of our species and our ability to improve our conditions. 

Some people look back at a hard childhood with bitterness, but I *barely look back at all,* because I have far too much to look forward toward, that needs my attention. It is not that reflection isn't important, as it is very, very important for me, but I do not need to dwell in the past, I can learn the lessons, carry the skills, revisit points when I need and, *get the fuck on with approaching the next hurdle.*

Bad things happen all the time to me, you, them, they and everyone else, but a lot of good things happen too, they are just harder to recall. And, when we live in a world that broadcasts the negatives through the news and encourages the broadcasting of drama and victimhood on the media platforms for attention, it is easy to surround ourselves with a lot of material to confirm our biases. We have created a symphonic society to accompany our individual miseries in such a way, that we can cherrypick the one thing that pulls us together to form a group around, and then pretend that we are all the same because of it - just to feel like we belong for a moment.

It is funny at times when people talk about how grateful they are for things in their lives, but fail to be grateful for the things that have likely shaped them the most, *the negative experiences.* Think about what has shaped your greatest strengths, ask those you admire what has shaped theirs, read any biography on a world changer, and see what is in common. Skill is built by overcoming challenge - not having obstacles swept out of the way.

*If the third bad doesn't kill me....* 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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