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My name is Taylor

The details of my life are quite insignificant... very well, where do I begin. The day I came into this world, the nurses wept in hopelessness, for they knew they would never see a youngster such as I again. At a young age I began working on my family dairy farm. Equipped with ambition, a creative mind and and an I-pad Nano I had big plans to one day turn the farm into the first concert venue/petting zoo . When my parents learned of my plans for the farm when I inherited it, they decided to sell. Forced out of the agriculture industry at the age of 10, I developed some strange habits. In High School my hobbies include experiments into controlling the weather, and a successful side hustles of breeding prize winning Hermit Crabs At the age of 18 I was introduced to the French school of cooking by a wizened oriental master over a campfire, That is the moment I decided that college was not for me. Unfortunately, I never thought about France or cooking ever again. 

Present day, I am a dynamic figure, I own several capes. I wrote an award-winning opera when I was black out drunk. I woo women with my rapist wit and piano playing. I am the subject of numerous documentaries that have not received the funding for production. I am an abstract artist, a weather analyst, and a ruthless online private eye. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of replica professional wrestling belts. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Ole women trust me.

I can hurl slushies’ at small moving animals with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every candy bar in the supermarket. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics no longer apply to me. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact chess. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have performed open-heart surgery in minds-eye. When I am turned on sexually, I can’t see colors. 

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Business email:
taylorrchronicles@gmail.com