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**Your actions defines yourself. 
The kind of friends you have defines your character.
The words that comes out from your mouth defines your language. 
The way you dress defines your purity.**


But what if, everything is just a facade? A defense mechanism to survive in this cruel and competitive world.  The world we live in, the generation we are in is all about surviving and adapting , it is typically a Natural Selection and only the fittest survive.



# This is HER ESCAPE IN REALITY: HER DIARY


I don't know what exactly I am feeling. i am always smiling and people can see me happy bit deep inside me something is definitely wrong. At night I am crying quitely as possible and  I’m feeling . . .

### SCARED
### ANXIOUS 
### GUILTY
### JEALOUS


Did he change? or am I the one who change first? am I?
I just missed him. I am confident enough that he loves me or did he?
Am I nagging him too much? 
Am I being possessive??
He said he is busy.
He said he is tired.
He said he is with a friend.
He said. . . He said. . .
He never said it. Never because he is damn tired. 
Am I not tired?


# I AM DEFINITELY TIRED. 


tired of WAITING
tired of telling him I'M SORRY
tired of UNDERSTANDING
tired of making him feel he is not ALONE
tired of asking him about EXPLANATIONS
tired of HOPING
tired of pretending I'M OKAY
tired of saying THINGS that he would never . . . he would never tell me.

Didn't he know I FEEL SO ALONE?

Sometimes I don't know his logic. 

I think I need to give myself a little reservations 

I need to leave some love for myself and pride

# STARTING FROM NOW. . . I'M GOING TO DO THE BEST THING. 

1. Not to text him first. 
2. I need to feel his effort to talk to me like he used too.
3. Not ignoring hi pm but I'll give him time.
4. Won't tell him things that I am feeling. He told me to be open but he is closing himself right now. 
5. I'm not gonna greet him first during the 7th and 8th of the month.
6. I'm not gonna ask for his whereabouts if his not gonna tell me first. 
7. I'm not gonna use WhatsApp for how many months after this month.
8. I'm not gonna try nor send pictures if he don't want. He  change.
9. I'm not gonna have some drama with him.
10. The least I can do is to wait that he admit everything. . Even if it's just a joke. . that's what he said. 




> These are her rants about him . THE MAN WHO ALWAYS MOVE.

@theunlimited
@OriginalWorks