## Is this the hill you want to die on?
People asked me this when I got in to an argument with the "higher ups" at work. It sounds like sensible advice, the same as  *"pick your battles"*. You should be levelheaded and not start unnecessary fights and arguments. That is only logical. However, there is a undertone of defeatism and what you could call slave mentality. Why bother to resist when you are being screwed over? It is pointless to stand up to the abuse because you will only make it worse. This conception already accepts defeat as the only outcome! Furthermore, it tells you that any reaction will make it worse!


## Rather die standing than live on my knees
Losing is not the worst outcome. Giving up is the worst. Most defeats, even losing your job, will seem like the "end of the world", but are in fact only temporary. Losing your spirit is not. If you give up hope, lose belief in the **possibility** of success,  give up on your aspirations, you lose more than you can imagine. To avoid any conflict, to surrender at the least resistance is weakness. Possibly the person behaving like this will tell themselves that are being "smart" or "calculating"and in their minds they could fight "when it really matters", but that is a lie. Any fight is worth fighting: most people, even "bad guys", are cowards: they will  back down when challenged. It is also about demarcating your boundaries: if you accept transgression, you are signalling that you are weak and a victim. This is "natural law" or  "law of the jungle". It is not pretty. Life is brutal and unfair, you will not get any consolation prize for "being nice".


## Be just, be confident, be kind
Being strong is not the same as being a bully. Being strong and standing up to abuse is not the same as trampling on the weaker. You need to be **able** to retaliate: you will have the choice to do so or not. If you are weak you do not have any options; you already assigned yourself the role of victim. In your mind you think you can fight "the big battle", but you never actually stood up for yourself and you will probably cave in at signs of serious resistance. The prospect of fighting, and more so losing, frightens the person who spent their lives  running and hiding. Not me. I had my share of fights and loses, and I am ready for more. People might call that bitter or jaded, but I call it experienced.