"Being Positive" doesn't mean pretending things are awesome when they suck
deepshit·@whatamidoing·
0.000 HBD"Being Positive" doesn't mean pretending things are awesome when they suck
## Today sucks Let me just get that out of the way. It’s raining and cold and my feet are wet and frozen. I had to trek across the city for two hours of work-work, and all the traffic made getting home a living nightmare. My back issues had been healing just fine before the weather got bad but this past month I’ve only been able to manage the problem, rather than actually work on it. My crypto portfolio is even lower than it wasn’t on the day of the big crash. Everyone around me is grumpy.  [waaaaaaah image link](https://images.pexels.com/photos/47090/baby-tears-small-child-sad-47090.jpeg?dl&fit=crop&w=640&h=426) Back in the day I might pretend that this was all just AWESOME. I’d force myself to feel grateful for my misfortunes without recognizing them as unwanted. When people ask how I was, I’d say “great!” until someone accidentally bumped their umbrella water all over me and I had to restrain myself from body slamming them right then and there. ## Why “fake it til you make it” doesn’t work. There is something to be said in looking for the positive in things, it’s very important. But pretending that which you do not desire is something that you are “totally cool with” is self debilitating. You need to recognize where you are at in order to let all the bad stuff out, otherwise whatever’s good you invite will be tainted by that which you do not desire. # How to deal with life’s bullshit ## Step 1 - Recognize it as bullshit You can be thankful for the bullshit later, first you need to take a clear stance on it. Most people do well with this part but make sure not to dwell, as dwelling is worse than denial and one sure way to invite the same kind of bullshit to stick around. Recognize whatever it is you don’t like and would like to kindly leave you alone and keep a strong intention to remove it from your experience. ## Step 2 - Calm Down and change your focus to something positive or neutral. You don’t need to pretend to like rainy days or rude people, but you don’t need to focus on them either. Find something to get your attention off these things long enough to calm down. If you meditate, this is a great time to use those practices of clearing your mind. Recognize that what is “good” and what is “bad” is up for you to decide. Take this as an opportunity to clearly define what is good (desirable) and bad (undesirable) for you. ## Step 3 - Look for a lesson Now that you are calmed down, NOW you can bring your focus back to whatever it is that is bothering you. Is there something to learn from this experience? The answer is always yes, but whether you find it or not is up to you, and sometimes it can be more of a challenge to discover. If someone is treating you like crap, the lesson is never something like “people suck”, that’s just one way the ego misinterprets an experience, and avoiding this kind of misinterpretation is the reason for changing your focus first. The lesson is usually about bringing yourself back to the present moment instead of living in the past or future. The lesson might also be learning patience, learning to accept others, or to always hold your ground, or having faith in yourself and persevering without being distracted by little inconveniences. Sometimes the universe is just trying to test you to see if you’ll keep your cool, just to see if you really want what you say you want or if you are still goin get to be distracted by BS. This doesn’t mean you take it sitting down, remember that firm desire for something better. ## Step 4 - Accept the current reality and Focus on what you can do in the moment Now that you see this thing you deem “bad” for what it is, just a test to see if you can remained calmly focused on what it is you desire, don’t fall into the trap. Accept that unwanted thing as the present reality while also knowing that there’s no reason for you to dwell on it. Instead of dwelling, find something more productive you can do and do it. Once you manage to change your focus, you feel a lightness about everything, and you may almost forget about what was nothing you. ##### Today I was trying to write a very different article than this. I found myself distracted by all he unpleasantries I was running into and eventually I realized I needed to get that negativity out of my system before I could be more positive and proactive. So I started writing this, acknowledging the bullshit as bullshit, acknowledging that I wanted something different than what I was experiencing at that moment, and as soon as I did, I felt so much better. I could really enjoy the “suck” while also telling it to “get out of here!” ---  ### Join the "Be Awesome" community The Be Awesome discord chat, was created with the intention of making deeper connections with fellow steemians. Come talk about "deep shit" and make friends. ### I’m also a language learning coach. [Come find me if you need help learning a language.](https://steemit.com/language/@whatamidoing/pay-what-you-want-in-crypto-language-learning-coach) ## [Be Awesome discord channel](https://discord.gg/BzJXrcQ) ### [Confessions of the Damaged](https://www.patreon.com/thetree123) - a collection of short stories —-  by @skyleap