It came again today, almost like a pulsation.  Doubt.  Will I be able to pull this off without any significant problems?  The funds keep shrinking and while I am certainly getting closer to a solution, there are many days which I do not see any way to get closer to an answer.  Even if a show is successful, it is not likely it will be able to pay for an entire week of living expenses.  I will need at least 2 a week if I want my savings to stop shrinking and that's assuming most will be succesful.  Right now there are only 4 potential place in the city which I believe I can play without any problems.  I am going to have to figure something out very quickly.  

This is taking much greater concentration than I had hoped.  I really need to stick to those morning meditations.

That is not to say that I am falling apart.  I just feel a bit tempted to stuff my face with delicous food that I haven't eaten in months, food that depletes my funds noticeably faster.  I am still at peace day to day.  Today was just a bit of a strain on my senses.  Perhaps it was the two places that I thought would be great venues for a show, turning out to be very far from ideal.  One was only big enough to fit 5 people and full of pop music lovers and the other is a private venue that doesn't seem open to meeting strangers or even friends of friends.

I know that this is all just the playing out of thoughts and feelings and beliefs and that life is reflecting everything back to me just as I am giving to it.  I still know that much.

I honestly don't have much inspiration to give you today, I suppose I should cut this post short.  I am sure I will back to my passionate and determined self within the next 24 hours and I will have lots of inspiration to share with you then.

Hope everyone is having a great day, feel free to find me on discord!