Strong boundaries - the best tool for dealing with abusive people
ungrip·@wwf·
0.000 HBDStrong boundaries - the best tool for dealing with abusive people
<html> <p>For individuals who want to self-govern and live peaceful lives, strong boundaries are going to be critical in that journey. It is very difficult to set those boundaries but it is possible to set them and most importantly, protect them. If we support one another in this goal, we can find ways to overcome the reactions of our abusers. If we engage in their violence we just feed the conflict and escalate it. Instead, I've learned to confront it, say 'NO' and walk away peacefully. </p> <p><img src="https://i.imgsafe.org/75/75d00e5cb1.jpeg" width="579" height="695"/></p> <p>I just had somebody mock and laugh at me, suggesting that I go else where. He violated my boundaries in a violent attempt to deflect or squash my confrontation of violent behaviour!</p> <blockquote>"I love the words you use: Punishment, violence, coercion, morals, theft, moral code. LMAO: You seem to be slightly extreme for a social media platform." ... "If you don’t agree, then maybe this isn’t the place for you."</blockquote> <p>Does he really 'love' my words or was he being sarcastic? Sarcasm is often used as a covert violent way of manipulating people. By mocking the words, actions or feelings of others we attempt to demean, devalue or diminish the other individual in order to conquer or win an argument or demote the other individuals social standing so that our own standing increases. </p> <p>Laughing is also a very powerful covert violent way of doing the same thing. Mocking or engaging in shame or guilt are very common covert violent attempts to manipulate and control other people. </p> <p>I've spoken about these types of behaviours for nearly 20 years. People engage in behaviours like this without even realizing what they are doing. It is so unconscious that it has infiltrated our day-to-day lives. It is now socially acceptable and even encouraged by the majority of people.</p> <p>For me, this type of behaviour sticks out like an atomic bomb mushroom cloud in the middle of a city. It is obvious for me because I used to behave like this and I did a LOT of work to remedy that abusive behaviour. On social media I take a zero tolerance approach. If somebody treats me or others like that, I confront, mute or block them. </p> <p>If friends or family try that, I will confront them and help them work through it. But if the behaviour continues I say good bye. </p> <p>Why take such a strong approach? Because I love myself and I do not deserve to be treated in this way. I love others and they don't deserve to be treated in this way either! Violence is violent and it does not matter if it manifests physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. It does not matter if it was done to my face or through tools that allow the violence to be transmitted across the planet. </p> <p>I share this process openly with people because if we all took a similar approach, then we would start to find peace in this world. The bullies have ruled for far too long and it is time to say 'enough is enough'. </p> <p>'NO' is the word and we need to start using it to rebuke those who engage in violence, whether it is consciously or subconsciously. Violence is justified and even legalized through the state and other protocols. </p> <p>NO MORE!!!</p> <p>It is my boundaries that determined that I could no longer participate with the state. That relationship is abusive and I said NO! It is my boundaries that also determine that I had to live on the land as I was being abusive to others through my demands for goods and services. Almost everything we do is violent. While I recognize that it is difficult to end it all, I will do all that I can to end it. </p> <p>I know many people who struggle as the violence is being exposed for what it really is. We even see it here on this platform. This is a very uncomfortable and painful process but we must go through it if we want peace. Please protect yourself if you struggle with PTSD or other sensitivities as a result of violence in your own life. </p> <p>I speak from the other side as I am at peace with myself and I've done a lot of work to heal. It pains me to witness the violence and so I speak up and confront those who engage in that behaviour as I know many cannot. Am I "slightly extreme for a social media platform"? </p> <p>Nope. </p> <p>The violence that people engage in is extreme! The more people stand up to this kind of behaviour the sooner the shift will happen. The unveiling is unfolding. All the violence is going to be exposed and it will look very ugly. But it is a critical part of the healing process. If we ignore or avoid this process, we won't allow the healing to take place.</p> <p><br></p> </html>
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