<center>![standing-336554__480.jpg](https://img.whaleshares.io/wls-img/chinyerevivian/362ea9b6b6607091f8df6ef3f40e79635621d2ac.jpeg)</center>
***

My thoughts are filled with memories
Of you and I just being here
It’s difficult to put into words
I remember the laughter
They are like pictures in my mind
Opening one at a time
I can’t seem to get enough

My dreams are filled with love
Of the tenderness in your eyes 
And the smiles turning your mouth upside down 
It’s like I was a little girl again
Spinning and waiting for you to catch me 
Telling you everything little secret 
Cuddled against you while asleep 

My days are filled with thoughts
Of the last moments together
The shared jokes and laughter
The feigned anger  which never worked on me
I see them vividly
The lopsided smile when pulling a prank
The light in your eyes when I saw through it

My eyes are filled with dreams
Of visions and hope I had for us
Things I wanted to give you
Places I wanted to take you
I’ll get to those things and places in time
You would want me to, I know
I’ll keep them alive for you

<center>https://fontmeme.com/permalink/180923/8161d4637d4fe4c81ea0aa136f466fc8.png</center>

***
It gets better everyday - baby steps. There isn’t so much pain as yesterday, or the day before. I should be happy that it’s getting easier but the truth is, I’m very scared. Usually for me, when I get *light* in an unhappy situation or a down moment, it comes back to hit me – this time harder and messier than before. Sometimes I ask myself how I survived this past year, watching her daily and everything. So this is me not knowing what to expect. This is me wishing it wouldn’t happen. I’m going to cherish the moment now. The memories might be the only thing that would see me through when it comes.

[<sub>image source</sub>](https://pixabay.com/photos/standing-forest-legs-feet-woman-336554/)