Now it is clear and evident to me that the cause of my breathlessness mainly was my backbone which is I,m worried still collapsing and shrinking and squeezing my lungs out so that I am just like being strangled on my torso in the process.

As I went again today for my dialysis I asked my head nurse to readjust again my weight near to the point that i have no excess fluids in my system. So she did and in fact I was set to be dried up with 4.2 kilos of fluids but after about one and a half hours of being hooked up my BP comes crashing down agin.

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It got e worried because it is no nearer unto the end time of treatment. Fortunately my BP got corrected again and the dialysis resumed. Then after some time it crashed again and it was raised again. Finally about 16 minutes before the finish time it crashed again into uncomfortable levels so they were forced to stop since I also can't bear it anymore.

I realized that my desire to get a good breathing finally had ended and I am now in the twilight or should I say dusk of my condition where soon I will have to make use of a respirator in order to let myself breathe but I pray to God not to let that happen to me and save me from the situation where not only would suffer but also my family.

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I am just trying not to think about it and just focus on the best things that I could do and see in my life although soon I will have to deal with reality in my medical condition. But my body and health may hold up, who knows and I might save it from destruction before it will happen.

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