# Safe to say, I am now an expert at end-of-life arrangements. 



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For the last 3 years, I have dabbled in my family’s affair on memorials. Three deaths in a row exactly a year a part has taught me a thing or two. 


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I know how much things cost, what is actually needed, and what is not needed.  There are things that should be done and the customs around it. From those experiences, I only learned one thing that makes sense from a financial point of view , *to have as much as 3 to 6 months in savings*. We rarely think about it but death actually costs that much. 

## Death may not be as expensive as living but it is still a costly affair. 

Honestly, how many of you think about how much your funeral would cost? We barely give this a thought. We tend to fear death but there is nothing to fear about it, what we should fear is probably, how would our family be able to afford it?

In some countries, insurance is pretty common but not where I live. Many of us rely on the goodwill of others. When someone passes away, family, relatives, neighbors and people who once got to know us will either bring money or  basic needs and supplies. 

## Your network is your net worth.  

I’ve never looked so closely at death as much as these last 3 years. During these past 3 years, even on death, our network matters. You see in our culture people bring money and basic supplies to the bereaved family. The more network you have the easier the burden will be for the bereaved family to carry the burden of the long memorials that awaits them. 

First, for the 7 days, there will be guests coming from all over to pay the last respect. During this time, you have to provide food, drinks and even goodies for them to bring home. Depending on your network of people, what might seem a simple affair could cost somewhere between $400 to $500.

Then, 40 days is similar but you would have an invitation. You only invite certain people and again, the size would depend on your network. This yet another seemingly simple affair, would cost another $300 especially if it’s a small event ranging from 30-40 people as you would have to prepare goodies for them to bring home, snacks, and meal. There will be additional cost to pay for the people who pray at the event and even renting a sound system. If your house is small, you have to rent out chairs. 

### We just don’t stop at 40 days, we still have 100 days, a year, two years, and finally 1000 days. 

### So,if you can total everything from the first 7 days to the 1000 days, it could go somewhere between $1,500 to $2,000 for the whole event before the memorials are gone for good. 

It’s costly isn’t it? 

Most people never really talk about it. Even during the first one, a lot of my family were still shying away from speaking out this exact truth, that death is costly. They never want to admit the behind the scenes or being that transparent about it. 

During the second one, I started learning the rope and did my calculations properly. I had enough savings to cover the second one and was openly talking about preparing for the worst especially when my dad was in very much critical condition. 

So, the third one, I was pretty much prepared. 

These days whenever I visit relatives in critical condition, I start doing the math. Maybe it’s a form of trauma but I can’t help it. I even thought about what I should be giving them that’ll be useful rather than things that they might not really need. 

### People barely come to us with water while bottled water/packaged water is the most important thing during the whole memorials. 

They run out fast especially during those 7 days where guests come and go. So, rather than giving rice, noodles, or other forms of basic goods, I think the best way during someone’s passing, at least where I am from, is sending them dozens of cups of water. Everything other than money and water are  really secondary. 

We never know when death would strike us and we can’t ever avoid it. However, having some money saved up just for family members/ relatives funeral will help. It will help to prepare for the long memorials and ease their burden. It makes a whole lot more sense especially if you're living in a culture like mine where both living and death are respectively costly, and energy consuming. 


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|![profilepic.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/macchiata/AKqch2qeXxDgtt6gewBnVB28roLauVcnbF5T9dypQyjYTV1DhG9mmkdEo7HYkMv.jpg)| <div class="text-justify">𝘔𝘢𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘢 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳 . 𝘈 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺.  𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 **𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵**. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦-𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰.</div> |</center>